Sunday, February 26, 2012
Adrienne Rich on Art and Politics
Resuscitating "Stories from Suburbia"

Thursday, August 25, 2011
Philly Responds to Earthquake
One of the most amusing, frustrating, embarrassing, offensive, and witty parts of philly.com are the responses left by fellow readers. Between Eagles games and flash mob attacks, there's enough political slogans, racist screeds, and off-beat comments for any town, let alone the fifth largest city in the U.S. The almost unique experience of Tuesday's earthquake elicited emotional responses in the street, and that Philly flavor came to the website almost as soon as the story broke there. Here are some of the best/worst/stupidest/funniest - no editing, just copy and pasted for your pleasure!
First time I've ever felt one. Damn near shat myself.
I got up screaming and run into metal pipe. I'm ok though, just my nose is squished.
I felt it and thought it was my cat clawing my bed.
I thought My bed had turned into a motel bed.
Felt it in my pants!
Was making love to my woman...she said she felt the earth move...I said be quiet and get busy.
that was me, making love to the ladies
I felt it while taking a dump. At first I thought it was the big beef and bean burrito I had for lunch!!!
The end is near! Y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife hide your husband!
IS THERE GOING TO BE A TSUNAMI? I FELT IT OUT HERE IN WILDWOOD!
All these years of expecting California to fall into the ocean...maybe it will be Jersey? Would make the commute to the beach much nicer.
Gov Christie tripped and fell, but he's ok.
I heard Gov Christie fell off his bed
That was no earthquake, just Ackerman slamming her big bag of cash on the desk of a local bank.
Did someone already say that the earthquake was actually Arlene Ackerman leaving the city?
Why all the fuss? After all, Philadelphia is the Quaker City.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
No Day Shall Erase You from the Memory of Time
The problems with the National September 11 Memorial and Museum have been and continue to be legion. The most recent controversy has been the planned use of a quote from Vergil's Aeneid. The quote is from Book 9, line 447:
Nulla dies umquam memori uos eximet aeuo.
No day shall erase you from the memory of time.
This is a quite touching sentiment at first sight. However, journalist and author Caroline Alexander believes that the line has been grossly misappropriated. Her argument is that the line has been taken out of its context inappropriately. The line concerns a pair of Trojan warriors, Nisus and Euryalus, who are amongst Aeneas' band of refugees resettling in Italy after the sack of Troy. The poet addresses the pair after they are killed in an ambush by native Italians. Vergil celebrates the masculine, homoerotic military virtue that brought Nisus and Euryalus to their deaths, side-by-side. Alexander finds the application to the 9/11 dead indecorous:
The central sentiment that the young men were fortunate to die together could, perhaps, at one time have been defended as a suitable commemoration of military dead who fell with their companions. To apply the same sentiment to civilians killed indiscriminately in an act of terrorism, however, is grotesque.
Yet is not appropriation the stuff of reception? Do we not pick and choose from the past and change meaning according to our present conditions, biases, and purposes? Does the original context create a static interpretation and do origins make meaning?

Nisus and Euryalus by Jean-Baptist Roman, 1827; The Louvre, Paris.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Cervantes to Melville, Parnassus to Nantucket
The Battle of Lepanto by H. Letter (?), late 16th century; National Maritime Museum, London.
I previously wrote about Miguel de Cervantes' participation in the 1571 Battle of Lepanto, which pit an allied European navy against the Ottoman fleet in the waters outside Nafpaktos, Greece. Though ill that day, Cervantes led a boat of men into the battle, for which he was repaid with three bullet wounds, including one that rendered his left hand lame.
Recently I unexpectedly ran into Cervantes so far from his Spanish shores and deluded comic heroes. In Moby Dick, as Ahab's Pequod leaves the whaling port at Nantucket, Herman Melville extols the ideal man in every man, that divine spark which gives rise to the dignity of the democratic state. And there amongst the men raised aloft by the "great democratic God," I was surprised to read, is Cervantes and a reference to his injuries.
Cervantes himself wrote about his wounds in his 1614 work Viaje del Parnaso - "Voyage to Parnassus," referring to the mountain above the Temple of Apollo at Delphi and the home of the poetic Muses. Dressed shabbily on the road to Parnassus, Cervantes meets Mercury who addresses him as "Adan de los poetas." And Mercury notices his "stumped and paupered arm."
Bear me out in it, thou great democratic God! who didst not refuse to the swart convict, Bunyan, the pale, poetic pearl; Thou who didst clothe with doubly hammered leaves of finest gold, the stumped and paupered arm of old Cervantes; Thou who didst pick up Andrew Jackson from the pebbles; who didst hurl him upon a war-horse; who didst thunder him higher than a throne! Thou who, in all Thy mighty, earthly marchings, ever cullest Thy selectest champions from the kingly commoners; bear me out in it, O God! (Chapter 26)
Que, en fin, has respondido a ser soldado
antiguo y valeroso, cual lo muestra
la mano de que estás estropeado.
Bien sé que en la naval dura palestra
perdiste el movimiento de la mano
izquierda, para gloria de la diestra.
Thine is the answer of a soldier true,
Of antique glory, testified aright
To all by that maimed hand which now I view:
I know that, in the naval bloody fight,
Thy left hand shattered lost the active power
It once possessed, for the glory of the right! (Capitulo I, 211-215; trans. J.Y. Gibson)

Cervantes at Nafpaktos reaching forth his right hand.
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Perfect TV Show?
Hulu is a pretty decent site. If I had my druthers, I'd change some things (sometimes the video gets a little choppy and a month can be way too long to wait for awesome Bartleby references on "Archer").
As for the selection, it's also fairly good, containing a good selection from popular shows on different networks. But where Hulu really sets itself apart is at the bottom of the barrel: shows that remind us, "You know what? There are too many channels on TV these days."
It was in these darkest reaches of the Internet that I stumbled upon what may be the perfect television show: "Heidi Klum Hosts Seriously Funny Kids."
As far as I can tell, this show appears on the Lifetime Network (new slogan: "We're not just crappy movies... We're crappy TV!"). Aside from that fact, I know nothing about it.
Basically, here's how it works. It's a show. With kids. And Heidi Klum.
It's like "Kids Say the Darndest Things" in that Heidi interviews kids in heavily edited clips with mildly amusing results. It's like "Candid Camera" in that Heidi subjects the kids to pranks involving hidden cameras. It's like "America's Funniest Home Videos" in that throughout it there are long segments where Heidi hosts nothing while grainy home footage of toddlers talking about poop play (although there's a fairly fantastic intro in which Ms. Klum gleefully exclaims, "We're going to talk about POO!!!").
And finally, it's like "Yo Gabba Gabba" meets "Lolita" as Heidi dances suggestively with toddlers and young children in cut scenes between segments in front of a green screen and pries on kindergarteners' dating lives in too-personal-for-comfort interviews.
Through it all, Heidi Klum goes through about a dozen wardrobe changes by my count in 22 minutes. Being a studio audience member must be torture as you watch one line get delivered and then wait for makeup, wardrobe and hair to remake the supermodel.
In short, "Heidi Klum Hosts Seriously Funny Kids," or "HKHSFK," is a variety show that contains everything great TV has to offer... circa 1955.
But there's something about it that's at once disarming and hypnotic. You must watch. The kids are so socially fucked up you try to pick out which will become serial killers and which will live in their mothers' houses long after they are dead (and yes, there is overlap between these two groups). You need to see what horrificly suggestive joke will be made about little boys being players and little girls being loose.
In short, this is the perfect show. Tinkering with any aspect of it will only detract, never add to its appeal. No amount of booze can make it more non-sensical. No amount of illegal narcotics can make it more surreal.
Presumably this show was born of a contract rider in the "Project Runway" shift to Lifetime. But from there, it was crafted by the hands of gods into television's logical conclusion.
We're out of ideas; we're through the looking glass. Nothing is new. Therefore, the old must be compiled and preserved for the ages. On Hulu. And presumably on Lifetime somewhere, although God knows when.



