STORIES FROM SUBURBIA

Philly Responds to Earthquake

2011-08-25T14:24:00.005-04:00

One of the most amusing, frustrating, embarrassing, offensive, and witty parts of philly.com are the responses left by fellow readers. Between Eagles games and flash mob attacks, there's enough political slogans, racist screeds, and off-beat comments for any town, let alone the fifth largest city in the U.S. The almost unique experience of Tuesday's earthquake elicited emotional responses in the street, and that Philly flavor came to the website almost as soon as the story broke there. Here are some of the best/worst/stupidest/funniest - no editing, just copy and pasted for your pleasure!

First time I've ever felt one. Damn near shat myself.

I got up screaming and run into metal pipe. I'm ok though, just my nose is squished.

I felt it and thought it was my cat clawing my bed.

I thought My bed had turned into a motel bed.

Felt it in my pants!

Was making love to my woman...she said she felt the earth move...I said be quiet and get busy.

that was me, making love to the ladies

I felt it while taking a dump. At first I thought it was the big beef and bean burrito I had for lunch!!!

The end is near! Y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife hide your husband!

IS THERE GOING TO BE A TSUNAMI? I FELT IT OUT HERE IN WILDWOOD!

All these years of expecting California to fall into the ocean...maybe it will be Jersey? Would make the commute to the beach much nicer.

Gov Christie tripped and fell, but he's ok.

I heard Gov Christie fell off his bed

That was no earthquake, just Ackerman slamming her big bag of cash on the desk of a local bank.

Did someone already say that the earthquake was actually Arlene Ackerman leaving the city?

Why all the fuss? After all, Philadelphia is the Quaker City.

No Day Shall Erase You from the Memory of Time

2011-04-09T10:09:00.004-04:00

The problems with the National September 11 Memorial and Museum have been and continue to be legion. The most recent controversy has been the planned use of a quote from Vergil's Aeneid. The quote is from Book 9, line 447:

Nulla dies umquam memori uos eximet aeuo.

No day shall erase you from the memory of time.

This is a quite touching sentiment at first sight. However, journalist and author Caroline Alexander believes that the line has been grossly misappropriated. Her argument is that the line has been taken out of its context inappropriately. The line concerns a pair of Trojan warriors, Nisus and Euryalus, who are amongst Aeneas' band of refugees resettling in Italy after the sack of Troy. The poet addresses the pair after they are killed in an ambush by native Italians. Vergil celebrates the masculine, homoerotic military virtue that brought Nisus and Euryalus to their deaths, side-by-side. Alexander finds the application to the 9/11 dead indecorous:

The central sentiment that the young men were fortunate to die together could, perhaps, at one time have been defended as a suitable commemoration of military dead who fell with their companions. To apply the same sentiment to civilians killed indiscriminately in an act of terrorism, however, is grotesque.

Yet is not appropriation the stuff of reception? Do we not pick and choose from the past and change meaning according to our present conditions, biases, and purposes? Does the original context create a static interpretation and do origins make meaning?

Nisus and Euryalus by Jean-Baptist Roman, 1827; The Louvre, Paris.

Cervantes to Melville, Parnassus to Nantucket

2011-03-12T13:10:00.011-05:00

The Battle of Lepanto by H. Letter (?), late 16th century; National Maritime Museum, London.

I previously wrote about Miguel de Cervantes' participation in the 1571 Battle of Lepanto, which pit an allied European navy against the Ottoman fleet in the waters outside Nafpaktos, Greece. Though ill that day, Cervantes led a boat of men into the battle, for which he was repaid with three bullet wounds, including one that rendered his left hand lame.

Recently I unexpectedly ran into Cervantes so far from his Spanish shores and deluded comic heroes. In Moby Dick, as Ahab's Pequod leaves the whaling port at Nantucket, Herman Melville extols the ideal man in every man, that divine spark which gives rise to the dignity of the democratic state. And there amongst the men raised aloft by the "great democratic God," I was surprised to read, is Cervantes and a reference to his injuries.

Bear me out in it, thou great democratic God! who didst not refuse to the swart convict, Bunyan, the pale, poetic pearl; Thou who didst clothe with doubly hammered leaves of finest gold, the stumped and paupered arm of old Cervantes; Thou who didst pick up Andrew Jackson from the pebbles; who didst hurl him upon a war-horse; who didst thunder him higher than a throne! Thou who, in all Thy mighty, earthly marchings, ever cullest Thy selectest champions from the kingly commoners; bear me out in it, O God! (Chapter 26)

Cervantes himself wrote about his wounds in his 1614 work Viaje del Parnaso - "Voyage to Parnassus," referring to the mountain above the Temple of Apollo at Delphi and the home of the poetic Muses. Dressed shabbily on the road to Parnassus, Cervantes meets Mercury who addresses him as "Adan de los poetas." And Mercury notices his "stumped and paupered arm."

Que, en fin, has respondido a ser soldado
antiguo y valeroso, cual lo muestra
la mano de que estás estropeado.
Bien sé que en la naval dura palestra
perdiste el movimiento de la mano
izquierda, para gloria de la diestra.

Thine is the answer of a soldier true,
Of antique glory, testified aright
To all by that maimed hand which now I view:
I know that, in the naval bloody fight,
Thy left hand shattered lost the active power
It once possessed, for the glory of the right! (Capitulo I, 211-215; trans. J.Y. Gibson)

Cervantes at Nafpaktos reaching forth his right hand.

The Perfect TV Show?

2011-02-21T18:51:00.003-05:00

Hulu is a pretty decent site. If I had my druthers, I'd change some things (sometimes the video gets a little choppy and a month can be way too long to wait for awesome Bartleby references on "Archer").

As for the selection, it's also fairly good, containing a good selection from popular shows on different networks. But where Hulu really sets itself apart is at the bottom of the barrel: shows that remind us, "You know what? There are too many channels on TV these days."

It was in these darkest reaches of the Internet that I stumbled upon what may be the perfect television show: "Heidi Klum Hosts Seriously Funny Kids."

As far as I can tell, this show appears on the Lifetime Network (new slogan: "We're not just crappy movies... We're crappy TV!"). Aside from that fact, I know nothing about it.

Basically, here's how it works. It's a show. With kids. And Heidi Klum.

It's like "Kids Say the Darndest Things" in that Heidi interviews kids in heavily edited clips with mildly amusing results. It's like "Candid Camera" in that Heidi subjects the kids to pranks involving hidden cameras. It's like "America's Funniest Home Videos" in that throughout it there are long segments where Heidi hosts nothing while grainy home footage of toddlers talking about poop play (although there's a fairly fantastic intro in which Ms. Klum gleefully exclaims, "We're going to talk about POO!!!").

And finally, it's like "Yo Gabba Gabba" meets "Lolita" as Heidi dances suggestively with toddlers and young children in cut scenes between segments in front of a green screen and pries on kindergarteners' dating lives in too-personal-for-comfort interviews.

Through it all, Heidi Klum goes through about a dozen wardrobe changes by my count in 22 minutes. Being a studio audience member must be torture as you watch one line get delivered and then wait for makeup, wardrobe and hair to remake the supermodel.

In short, "Heidi Klum Hosts Seriously Funny Kids," or "HKHSFK," is a variety show that contains everything great TV has to offer... circa 1955.

But there's something about it that's at once disarming and hypnotic. You must watch. The kids are so socially fucked up you try to pick out which will become serial killers and which will live in their mothers' houses long after they are dead (and yes, there is overlap between these two groups). You need to see what horrificly suggestive joke will be made about little boys being players and little girls being loose.

In short, this is the perfect show. Tinkering with any aspect of it will only detract, never add to its appeal. No amount of booze can make it more non-sensical. No amount of illegal narcotics can make it more surreal.

Presumably this show was born of a contract rider in the "Project Runway" shift to Lifetime. But from there, it was crafted by the hands of gods into television's logical conclusion.

We're out of ideas; we're through the looking glass. Nothing is new. Therefore, the old must be compiled and preserved for the ages. On Hulu. And presumably on Lifetime somewhere, although God knows when.

WATSON to compete on Jeopardy!

2011-02-11T19:08:00.004-05:00

During Alex's segment getting to know the contestants things take an unexpected turn.

WATSON learns an important lesson of the consequences of a psych-out.

(Click images to enlarge until legible)

My Favorite Movies of 2010

2011-01-04T20:23:00.009-05:00

(Note: There were many critically acclaimed movies released last year that I haven't gotten around yet to seeing. Therefore, this list is culled from a somewhat small sample size.)

In no particular order:

The Social Network

I think this movie is less valuable as an historical account of the founding of Facebook and more valuable as a commentary on life in the first decade of the 21st century.

True Grit

I expected something quite different from what I got, but that doesn't detract from the funny dialogue, sure-handed directing from the Coens, and great performances all-around.

Toy Story 3

I didn't cry, but I almost did. Pixar managed to keep the franchise from going rancid (as so many do by the second sequel) by producing a script that wrestles with the timeless issues of mortality and the loss of childhood innocence.

The Fighter

I wasn't sure what to expect from David O. Russell (I hated "I Heart Huckabees"), but this movie was genuinely inspiring. Christian Bale should at least get nominated for an Oscar.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Michael Cera's awkward-guy schtick has worn on me, but Edgard Wright set out to answer the question "What would the world be like if it were an 8-bit video game?" and came up with a ridiculously entertaining answer.

Is This a Real Movie? (Part II)

2010-11-26T00:15:00.004-05:00

(Read Part I here.)

From director Andrey Konchalovskiy (Tango & Cash...hmm) and featuring the acting talents of Nathan Lane (okay) and John Turtorro (why?), the trailer for this movie makes it seem simultaneously appalling and alluring. But I also have no proof that this movie actually exists. How could it? Just watch the trailer.

Halloween's Coming ...

2010-10-26T09:20:00.005-04:00

...And like the last three years, I'll be spending it in a movie theater with hundreds of (mostly) smelly people watching 24 hours of horror films. That's 24 straight hours, reel-to-reel, non-stop camp fun. Complete with trailers and cartoons during the 6 a.m. breakfast break.

At this point, I think I spend more time in a movie theater during that period than I do the rest of the year combined. But it's totally worth it to see 12-14 flicks I would never get the chance to see otherwise (though, truth be told, some of them suck hard).

Anyway, here's some highlights of previous years (including films shown by the same group that weren't actually during the 24-hour marathon).

House (1977)
A rarely seen horror movie that was played earlier this year to a sold out crowd.

Raw Force (1982)
Possibly one of the strangest movies I've ever seen. It's got... uh... cannibals and... uh, there were ninjas ... a lot of mustaches... a cruise ship... yeah, I still have no clue what the hell I saw.

Wicked, Wicked (1973)
Presented in "Duovision," this entire movie has two screens playing the same image simulatenously. The preview sucks because they try to convince you they can't show it without special equipment (one of many exaggerations), but here it is:

And here's what it actually looks like (skip to the six minute mark to get an idea of how awesome it is):

Pieces (1982)
All you need to know about this movie is its two taglines: "You don't have to go to Texas to get a chainsaw massacre" and "'Pieces': It's exactly what you think it is"

And here's the crowning scene:

Because I am feeling morose...

2010-10-11T21:04:00.005-04:00

...about the future of our society.

This is a cartoon showing why, when it comes to predicting America's inevitable dystopian future, Huxley was more prescient than Orwell.

Click here to read the full thing.

Here is a sampling:

Columbus Day Musings, from the 19th Century

2010-10-11T15:02:00.010-04:00

Columbus discovered no island or key so lonely as himself. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you, opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought. -Henry David Thoreau

Is It Christmas Yet?

2010-10-04T20:20:00.003-04:00

This is the teaser trailer for the Coen brothers' latest, True Grit. Could it be their finest since No Country for Old Men? (Not that I didn't enjoy A Serious Man and Burn After Reading)

PS-My apologies for the lame "here's a song" or "here's a video" type posts; once I figure out my routine and settle down in this new school environment, I hope to contribute more substantial posts, on a regular basis, to the blog.

An Interesting Cover

2010-09-25T08:53:00.002-04:00

I heard this cover of Radiohead's overplayed "Creep" on the trailer for The Social Network (which is getting incredible early reviews, incidentally). The group, Scala and Kolacny, is apparently a Belgian girls choice. It's strange, but mesmerizing.

The Saving Scene

2010-09-09T23:28:00.002-04:00

I'll be honest, I'm not always great at enjoying classics. I usually wait forever to see them, and once I do, I'm often lukewarm towards them. Or at least feel like I should have enjoyed them more.

On that note, tonight I finished "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly" for the first time. I've fallen asleep during the movie three times in the past week (in all fairness, this is because I sleep and watch movies on the same couch, so sometimes my circadian rhythms don't adjust so well).

The whole movie I was thinking "OK, not a classic," "Enjoyable, not tremendous," "Funny, not hilarious," "Poignant, but a bit heavy handed."

Then I got to a scene that was pure cinematic perfection and elation. I don't even want to reveal what the scene was in case you haven't seen it, but the juxtaposition of emotion and scenery just hit so hard.

Now I'm sure I'll watch it again at some point.

Wondering if anyone else has had the experience where a single scene has bumped a movie from good to amazing?

Books You Never Read?

2010-09-06T07:48:00.004-04:00

The Huffington Post recently ran this little slideshow article listing "13 books nobody's read but they say they have." Featuring William Faulkner's As I Lay Dying. But they add insult to injury, saying

Actually, let's just put all of Faulkner's oeuvre in there. Not even Oprah could make him cool.

I suspect that Sean has something to say on this subject.

For the record, here are the other books:

The Canterbury Tales, by Geoffrey Chaucer
Democracy in America, by Alexis de Tocqueville
Ulysses, by James Joyce
A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens
The Satanic Verses, by Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick, by Herman Melville
A Brief History of Time, by Stephen Hawking
Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace
The Name of the Rose, by Umberto Eco
In Search of Lost Time, by Marcel Proust
Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes
War and Peace, by Leo Tolstoy

How many have YOU read? And, maybe more importantly, who the heck goes to cocktail parties and discusses literature anymore anyway?

Beetle Bailey

2010-09-02T09:22:00.007-04:00

Newspaper comic writers handle vacations differently. Some go away and run a "classic" strip from decades ago. Others repeat an extended story line. Others get their Downs Syndrome child to fill in.

But Greg Walker, current author of Beetle Bailey, took a different approach, asking readers to pick their favorite strips since Beetle was sleeping under a tree when the Shot Heard 'Round the World was fired at Concord.

The result is a stark reminder: Through Vietnam, Korea, two Gulf Wars and a seemingly endless Afghanistan campaign, Beetle has managed to not only miss being called for active duty every time, he's also been yucking it up with his life-partner Sarge rather than doing his duty.

The below strip comes from the height of the Vietnam War. Isn't fratricide hilarious?

This one is a few short months removed from the My Lai Massacre:

This strip from 1968 fails the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" sniff test.

And finally, bonus (boner?) trivia... Did you know in Scandinavia they've published a collection of adult Beetle Bailey comics by Mort Walker? Swear to God, it's true.

From Conrad's "Lord Jim"

2010-08-29T10:34:00.002-04:00

With the earthquake in Haiti earlier this year, the floods that have been ravaging Pakistan, and the five year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, I thought this passage was particularly meaningful:

"There are many shades in the danger of adventures and gales, and it is only now and then that there appears on the face of facts a sinister violence of intention--that indefinable something which forces it upon the mind and the heart of man, that this complication of accidents or these elemental furies are coming at him with a purpose of malice, with a strength beyond control, with an unbridled cruelty that means to tear out of him his hope and fear, the pain of his fatigue and the longing for rest: which means to smash, to destroy, to annihilate all he has seen, known, loved, enjoyed, or hated; all that is priceless and necessary--the sunshine, the memories, the future; which means to sweep the whole precious world utterly away from his sight by the simple and appalling act of taking his life."

End of the Road

2010-08-20T01:10:00.003-04:00

Before a showing of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (a strange but wonderful movie that deserves a posting of its own), I paid witness to the trailer for Devil. Not knowing anything about the movie, I was somewhat intrigued by its suspense-filled, Twilight Zone-like premise.

When it was revealed that Devil comes to us "from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan" and merely plays subtitle to a film series (I think) called "The Night Chronicles," I, along with nearly every member of the audience, burst out laughing. It was a somewhat bizarre experience: never in my many years of movie-going have I ever seen an audience outright laugh at a trailer not intended to elicit laughs.

11 years ago M. Night Shyamalan was taking the country by storm with The Sixth Sense. Today he is being mocked by people who would gladly admit to enjoying the Twilight series (just an indication as to where their standards lie). Play him out, keyboard cat....

Quick Question

2010-08-13T11:57:00.003-04:00

Is this movie--
the same exact thing as this movie--

or is it just me?

Letters from Greece V: Crete

2010-08-13T07:32:00.003-04:00

Crete is the largest Greek island and the fifth largest in the Mediterranean Sea. It is about 165 miles south of Athens, an elongated strip of land about 160 miles across and at most 37 miles wide. The topography is characterized by a series of mountain ranges – the Lefka Mountains (White Mountains), the Idi, and the Dikti – from west to east, with most habitation located on the northern shore, where can be found the natural harbors which the southern coast lacks. There are three principal cities are all on the northern side: Chania, Rethymno, and Irakleion, going from west to east.

I journeyed to the island by over-night ferry. Most of my compatriots slept unsoundly, but it wasn’t too long until we arrived at Souda harbor near Chania. In the predawn dark, only the dock’s dull grey concrete was visible under the streetlamps, and the whole landscape around me was hidden. On the bus, between fits of sleeping to make up for the previous night, the looming mountains verdant with the winter's rain came into view as the sun rose behind me. We were heading west. The first day was a long and interesting one, spent contemplating many aspects of Crete’s history – especially the interesting and under-discussed modern period of the island. Our first stop was on the far west of the island at Phalasarna.

Phalasarna is home to a peculiar maritime settlement in that it is extremely heavily fortified and those fortifications are much thicker in the sections facing the sea. They were likely designed to repel sea-borne invasions. One theory is that the primary economic activity in Phalasarna was piracy and the walls were designed to ward off the rightful owners of the stolen property. Crete has long been known to be a pirate base, from the 2nd millennium BC into the 17th century AD. However, we have to think about how, if at all, we can detect activity such as piracy through archaeological evidence – what physical stuff would survive that could lead us to that conclusion?

The majority of the first day was spent exploring modern monuments and history. First was the tomb of Eleftherios Venizelos. Venizelos is one of the most important figures of modern Greek history, and he was born on Crete during the period of Ottoman rule. He became a lawyer, assisted in the Cretan rebellions of the latter 19th century, and represented Greece at the Paris peace talks that followed the Great War and was successful in gaining territory for Greece from the dismemberment of the Ottoman Empire. For this he is hailed as Ethnarch – the Leader of the Nation. The expansion of Greek territory was analogous to similar irridentist movements in Europe, such as Italian designs on Fiume/Rijeka in modern Croatia. In Greece, it took the form of the Megali Idea, the Great Idea. The Great Idea was to create a new Byzantine Empire, reclaiming Constantinople and lands in Turkey – wherever ethnic Greeks lived.

Eleftherios Venizelos

Pursuit of the Great Idea backfired in a serious way that caused the deaths of thousands. During the collapse of the Ottoman Empire and the resulting power vacuum, a Greek army marched from Smyrna (now Turkish İzmir) on the west coast of Turkey towards Constantinople. The army was pushed back by the Young Turks movement and forced to evacuate Smyrna. In the ensuing chaos resulted in a massacre of Greeks and Armenians in the city; it is still debatable whether the culprit was the Greek or Turk army.

We continued into Crete’s place in the Second World War. At the end of April 1941, Athens fell to the Germans, who had invaded Greece after Mussolini’s failed campaign. Hitler wanted to prevent Greece from being a staging point for Allied attacks on his planned invasion of Southern Russia. The British still held the island of Crete along with Greek troops both regular and irregular, and they would have to be removed.

The British commander Captain J.D.S. Pendlebury was long prepared for the fight. Pendlebury was an archaeologist by trade: he was the successor to Sir Arthur Evans, who discovered the ancient city of Knossos and the Minoan civilization of the 3rd millennium BC. As such, Pendlebury had hiked more than 1,000 miles each summer, spent extensive time with the mountain shepherds, spoke Cretan Greek with perfection, and was knowledgeable about and involved in the clan politics that were prevalent on the island. He was selected to be the British Vice Consul in May 1940, after training in intelligence and cavalry. His job was to prepare the island’s defenses. Pendlebury was joined by Major General Bernard Freyberg, a New Zealander, after the fall of Athens.

On the 20th of May 1941, the Battle of Crete began. The Germans mercilessly shelled the northern side of the island, and landed paratroopers around the west near Chania. The initial wave, particularly at the crucial airfield outside of Chania, was repulsed by the Allied British, New Zealand, and Greek troops. Parachute troops were slaughtered by the defenders, who were joined by a general uprising of Cretans against the invaders. But the eastern city of Irakleion was taken by the 21st. Within a few days the Germans pressed again with a better supply line. The Royal Navy was ineffective at stopping Nazi ships. The Luftwaffe pounded the British fleet; two German bombs exploded on the ship manned by Lieutenant Prince Philippos of Greece and Denmark – now Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and husband of Queen Elizabeth II. Meanwhile, Royal Air Force pilots fleeing mainland Greece assisted in the retreat from Crete from the air, including the author Roald Dahl.

Captain Pendlebury was leading a retreat from Irakleion on the 21st when he was shot by a German dive-bomber. The injured Captain was dragged to a nearby town that was overtaken by Nazi paratroopers by the next day. He was propped up against a wall and shot in the head. His last words are reported to be, “Fuck you.”

British forces began their withdrawal, crossing over the mountainous center of the island to rendezvous with troop transports. They escaped south to Alexandria in Egypt. On the first of June, most uniformed forces had surrendered; a Cretan Resistance quickly sprung up. After the war, the Battle of Crete was regarded as a major delay for Hitler’s invasion of the Soviet Union, one which gave the Russians time to prepare better defenses. It was, so the story goes, an honorable stand against the unstoppable Nazi war machine. This allowed Greece to claim a significant role in defeating Germany and thus legitimization in the post-war world.

However, new interpretations are coming to light which differ from the portrayal so far. A group of New Zealand infantry inexplicably evacuated a hill overlooking the Chania airfield – despite the fact that they had already repelled the invaders once – allowing the Germans to take it without much resistance. The airfield was key to taking control of the island. In particular, the actions of senior military leaders during the invasion have come under scrutiny. Major General Freyberg was overly cautious with his troops and caused many more deaths than were necessary and could be considered culpable for losing the entire island. He was much too conservative with his extensive knowledge of German activities and movements, because he did not want to signal to the Germans that the British had decoded the Nazi Enigma communication system. Many young men unknowingly went to their deaths to preserve that secret knowledge.

Around the strategic Chania air strip lie the men who died fighting for control of it, both Allied and Axis. Once killing each other, now they rest as neighbors, equal in death. Crests on British headstones showed the variety of those who fought: the New Zealand Silver Fern, the Seal of the Royal Marines, a Royal Australian Airman, and even a Polish Air Force officer. Many were only 18 or 19; their countries forced them to fight and they never returned. Some had no identity. Row upon row read “Ein Unbekannter Deuschter Soldat” (Unknown German Soldier) or “A Soldier of the 1939-1945 War – Known Unto God.”

The German military cemetery at Souda

The British Commonwealth War Cemetery, Souda Bay

In the long lawns and neat rows of headstones overlooking Souda Bay, I reflected on all those robbed of their youth, remembering that Homer similarly surveyed the casualties of battle after a bloody day during the Trojan War.

On that day the multitudes of Trojans and Achaians
Were stretched side by side, their faces in the dust.

We steered back to Chania, where we arrived for lunch along the harbor. The waterfront is lined with Venetian arcades and Ottoman domes, and indeed the history of Crete revolves around the Venetian and Ottoman periods and the struggle between Christianity and Islam. Forgotten in this story are the Jewish residents of Crete, and we went to the only synagogue on the island to learn about them. The director of the Etz Hayyim Synagogue is Nikos Stavroulakis and he led us to a small street that I couldn’t call anything better than an alleyway, with no foot traffic in sight let alone the ubiquitous motorbikes of Southern Europe, through a walled garden and into the synagogue. However, it was the synagogue’s recent history was at the forefront of everyone’s mind. Twice in January the synagogue was assaulted with firebombs. In one instance, two Britons, an American, and a Greek were arrested. The Britons and American are reported to have worked for the nearby NATO base and a second American is still wanted by the Greek police. Nikos tearfully recounted being roused at 4 a.m. to find the fire illuminating the night, and by daybreak facing the blackened interior of the synagogue, the loss of almost 2,500 books, and insufficient funding to conduct repairs for what damage was reversible.

It was not quite two weeks later that I read in the newspaper that a teacher was attacked outside Chania. Two youths had carved swastikas in her arm because she offered Greek language instruction to immigrant children.

But the good news is that for such a small synagogue, serving an even smaller community (Nikos claims that services are typically attended by Jews passing through the area and ex-pats either Christian, Muslim, or agnostic), the incidents have garnered much world wide attention. This includes an opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal and official condemnation of the arson by the U.S. State Department, as well as support from conservative politician Konstantinos Mitsotakis. And Nikos is continuing his work in Chania with a combination of extensive scholarly and religious knowledge, sense of duty, and a healthy dose of humor.

If you would like to donate to the ongoing recovery of the Etz Hayyim Synagogue, you can go to this website

It was at my lunch in Chania that I was introduced to the national drink of Crete, raki. I had known that this encounter was coming, based on my friends' reviews of the stuff - which ranged from downright awful all the way up to barely drinkable. I was having lunch with a friend, and his lunch order was late. As we waited at the bar for the food, the owner gestured that he would like to make it up to us. Three shot glasses came down on the table, along with an unmarked glass bottle with clear liquid. It was aromatic and strong, and to be honest the fourth shot went down easier than the first. Raki is made from the distillation of pomace, the grape and grape seeds left over from the wine-making process. But raki quickly became one of my favorite features of Crete, as it is often a complimentary part of your dessert at restaurants. Raki is usually a home-brewed affair, and the clearest evidence of this was in a small village in eastern Crete where the drink came in what appeared to be a reused container of paint thinner. The difference between the two liquids is indeed a narrow one.

A couple days later I had plunged into the farthest reaches of Crete’s antiquity at the site of Knossos. Knossos is the location of a massive, sprawling palace complex – including several phases of construction and destruction – belonging to the 3rd and 2nd millennia BC. Its largest incarnation featured a massive central court, throne room, storage areas, huge stairwells three stories deep, with dozens of rooms covering almost 140 square acres.

Plan of the palace at Knossos

Knossos is also the center of the Minoan civilization – a sort of Cretan counterpart to the Mycenaeans, and flourishing slightly before the mainlanders in the 2000s BC. Even centuries later and after its destruction and abandonment, Greeks preserved knowledge of Knossos in the myth of Minos the eponymous king of the Minoans. The mythology of Minos features many stories involving bulls. The Phoenician woman Europa was kidnapped by Zeus, who took the guise of a bull, and taken to Crete where she bore Minos. Most famous is the Minotaur – the half-bull, half-man creature locked in the Labyrinth – no, not the David Bowie movie but rather an intricate dungeon built by Daedalus. In tribute to Minos the Athenians used to pay seven young men and seven young women to be sacrificed to the Minotaur, until the Athenian prince Theseus defeated the beast. And this attention to bulls corresponds to the archaeological remains in the palace complex. Stone monuments in the shape of horns dot the palace, and these have been dubbed "the Horns of Consecration." A colorful and beautiful fresco was found prominently displayed in a courtyard, depicting a male jumping on to the back of a bull who is flanked by two females. Much ink has been spilled about whether this represents an athletic contest, or a religious ritual. It is clear that bulls formed an important part of the iconography in pre-historic Crete. And some people can see inspiration for the Labyrinth in the winding corridors and seemingly endless chambers of the palace itself.

"Horns of Consecration"

The bull leaping fresco

Much of the palace at Knossos has been reconstructed. In the course of excavations, painters were hired to restore frescoes. Sometimes even whole architectural elements, such as columns, have been built to complete the "look" of the site. Debate continues about whether this is a prudent policy from scholastic, economic, and art historical perspectives. What is the role of an archaeological site, and how should it be presented to the public? These are questions that are imbedded in the debate over Knossos.

Knossos palace with reconstruction and restored painting

Our view of Minoan civilization is complemented and complicated by similar palaces in other regions of Crete. In the center of the island on the southern side is the Mesara plain, and on one end of this plain is the palace of Phaistos. It has similar features to Knossos, such as a large central court, storage rooms, and monumental staircases that could serve both as entrances and as theatral seating areas. A clay disk was found in the palace, dated to 1800-1600 BC, with 45 different symbols stamped into a spiral pattern. It was found in a deliberately buried layer of burnt animal remains (from a sacrifice?), and nearby was found another tablet with a fragment of Linear A, a proto-Greek (maybe) hieroglyphic language in use on Minoan Crete. The symbols on the Phaistos Disk appear to be ideographic hieroglyphs, and speculation has run rampant about the language on the disk and its purpose. Theories include an astronomical calendar, star chart, or game board. Linguists have applied the principles of several ancient Aegean languages to the disk, with interesting results though none fit the disk exactly. Some see it as proto-Greek, while others see a Hittite chant to a mother goddess. One of the most recent theories is that it is a diplomatic letter in the Luwian language, a Hittite language originating in what is now central Turkey. The script has some affinities with Luwian, and reading it like this yields such words as Mi-sa-ru (Mesara), Na-sa-ti (Nestor), Ku-na-sa (Knossos), and Hi-ya-wa (Achaians).

The Phaistos Disk

The Phaistos Disk is housed at the Irakleion Archaeological Museum in the largest city on Crete, Irakleion. It is also the site of the longest siege in modern history, one which divides Cretan history between two masters who dominate the past millenium on the island: the Most Serene Republic of Venice and the Sublime Ottoman State. In the wake of the Fourth Crusade, which sacked Constantinople in 1204, the Byzantines sold Crete to Venice. The Venetians spent several years delousing the island of its Genoese population before taking control outright. Venetian control of Crete allowed the influence of the Renaissance to reach Crete, a process that was unknown to mainland Greece as it was ruled by the Ottomans. The heightened creativity in arts produced the Cretan School, a school of post-Byzantine painting whose most famous son is Domenikos Theotokopoulos, also known as El Greco.

El Greco's Opening of the Fifth Seal (1608-1614)

In 1644 the Knights of Malta staged a pirate attack on an Ottoman convoy in the Aegean, and landed on Crete. Unfortunately for the Cretans, the Knights had purloined one of the Sultan’s wives, who was returning from a pilgrimage to Mecca. This made the Venetians accessories to the kidnapping, and provided Sultan Ibrahim I ("Ibrahim the Mad" - didn't they know that they shouldn't mess with a mentally unstable man in charge of a vast empire?) an excuse to try to push the Venetians, his main rival in the Eastern Aegean, out of their largest island base. Within two years, the Turks had captured Chania and Rethymno, two of the three major cities on the island. The war dragged on for another twenty-one years as the Venetians dug in at Irakleion, which was then known as Candia, the Venetian spelling of the city’s Arabic name Kandaq. Meanwhile the Ottoman navy gathered in the harbor and laid siege to the city until 1669. After enduring many ups and downs in a war that lasted almost an entire generation, the Venetian commander Francesco Morosini (who would go on to earn the dubious distinction of blowing up the Parthenon) inexplicably surrendered without the permission of the Venetian Senate.

Irakleion and its fortifications (from Marco Boschini's Il regno tutto di Candia: Delineato a parte, Venice 1651)

The change from Venetian to Ottoman Crete has been the subject of much debate. Greek nationalist scholarship tends to view Ottoman rule as a terrible period for the Cretans. According to some, Crete suffered economically because Muslim restrictions on alcohol had crippled the wine industry on the island. There are also the accusations of religious intolerance against Christians, and there is a great deal of focus on the change from Christian to Muslim rule. Other studies, particularly A Shared World by Molly Greene, suggest that the religious, economic, and ethnic divisions on Crete were more fluid than appears on the surface. Court records (which the Ottomans left on Crete when they evacuated the island in 1898) from the 17th century show a great number of men in the army with Turkish names but without any lineage, suggesting that they are recent converts to Islam who joined because the army more often acted as a large business consortium than a military organization – a trend noted by English traveler Richard Pococke during his visit to Crete in 1739. The same records demonstrate that Christians were allowed to act as witnesses on behalf of Muslims and vice versa. In fact, the Ottomans rehabilitated the Orthodox Church on Crete, which had been suppressed by the Catholic Venetians. These trends in historical scholarship are important for understanding Greece’s relationship both past and present to Turkey and for observing how historical interpretation both reflects and affects the attitudes imbedded in that relationship.

The history of the Ottomans in Crete becomes increasingly complex and interesting. In the late 18th century and throughout the 19th century the relationship between Greeks and Turks were marred by a series of violent insurrections. The first major instance of this is a revolt led by a school teacher, Ioannis Vlachos. Vlachos was encouraged to stage a revolt by the Orlov brothers, Russian noblemen who organized insurrections around Greece to help the Russian Empire win the Russo-Turkish War of 1768-1774. Promised Russian aid never reached the island and Vlachos was duly executed by the Turks.

Rebellions were practically a pandemic during the 19th century: 1821, 1828, 1833, 1841, 1854, 1866, 1878, 1889, 1895, and 1897. In the mid-19th century the Ottoman Empire passed a series of liberalizing reforms that attempted to give full rights to non-Muslim subjects. The Christian Cretan population did not believe that these were being enforced, and after petitioning the Sultan they revolted in 1854 and again in 1866. The events of 1866 have since become a part of Greece’s national story. The Arkadi Monastery outside Rethymno became a meeting place for Cretans to discuss their grievances against the Sublime Porte, but the Ottoman governor ordered the Cretans to disperse. The Cretans did not, and fortified their position. There was fierce fighting for several days before the defenders were pushed back. The Cretans gathered in the powder storeroom, including women and children, and as the Turks were about to burst into the room the Cretans lit the gunpowder, sacrificing themselves and a few Turks instead of suffering the fate of capture and imprisonment. The event has been commemorated in Greek history as an important episode in winning freedom from the Ottomans and drawing Crete closer to union with the mainland.

Arkadi Monastery

I stood in the powder room, the floor littered with stones that were once the walls and roof, looking at the small memorial plaque. There was an intensity in the extreme silence of the place, a pious and solemn silence though the streaks of black on the remaining walls spoke of the violent deaths of thousands. It was the strangeness of standing in a place of great importance though having no personal connection to it, and realizing how meaning can be invested into a place through a combination of violence, sacrifice, and commemoration.

The place of the Cretan revolts in Greek literature was solidified by Cretan writer Nikos Kazantzakis. His 1953 novel Ο Καπιτάν Μιχάλης (“Captain Michalis” but also given in English as “Freedom and Death”) is a fictional account of a Cretan revolt against the Ottomans, though based on Kazantzakis’ own experiences with his father, dealing with Cretan identity and history in the waning days of Ottoman rule, when independence and union with Greece was on the horizon.

The latter part of the 19th century followed a pattern of revolts, reforms, and repeals, all of which culminated in a direct war between Greece and the Ottoman Empire over an 1897 revolt in Crete, which the Ottomans believed was funded by the mainland organization Ethniki Etaireia (fierce proponents of the irredentist Megali Idea) as a proxy war. While the superior force of the Sublime Porte defeated the Greeks and Cretans, peace talks with involving the larger European community decided that Crete could no longer be under Ottoman control. In November 1898, Ottoman forces evacuated the island and the Cretan State was established under the curious arrangement of official Ottoman suzerainty, an international military presence, and a Greek high commissioner, the first being Prince George of Greece and Denmark. As seemed inevitable, Crete attained union – Enosis – with Greece in 1907, with international recognition coming in 1913.

In Irakleion I bid Crete goodbye as I boarded the evening ferry. It was another rolling, mostly sleepless night on the seas before I was back in the Piraeus early in the morning and off to my bunk in Athens.

On Wegmans and the Hive Mentality

2010-08-12T13:07:00.008-04:00

Confession: Through no fault of its leader, I'm not quite sure what the theme of this blog is. I just don't read the stuff I don't write. If that makes me sound like a douche, then I've finally been able to capture the essence of my existence.

That said, it has a variation on the word "suburban" in the banner, I'm fairly sure this post will be apropos.

A quarter mile from my work, I have watched as the lumbering beast that would become a Wegmans store was built. I thought nothing of it at first - it's a grocery store, after all, not an Eagles game or ethnic sandwich. But about a month ago, the buzz became unavoidable.

Far and wide gchat statuses and water cooler talk turned to the coming miracle of Wegmans. Its buzz was unrivaled since the second coming of Christ, although had Jesus came out of the tomb with an organic foods section, I'm fairly sure that would have only helped his PR buzz ("I will not believe until I look upon the rind of a cheese from the Gruyere region, $35.89 a pound, and dig my finger into those little holes.")

As it opened, people began turning on their pagan gods and welcoming their new savior. (So many stopped worshiping the Wawa, which at least cut down on the lines to worship it's touch screen altars, where a prayer for a turkey hoagie with American cheese, a little bit of mayo, lettuce and oregano can be granted reasonably accurately 8 times out of ten.)

Finally, I too gave into temptation and entered the belly of the beast. What I found would change my afternoon forever.

At first glance, Wegmans is like any other grocery store. At further glances, it's like any other overpriced grocery store.

They hide this fact by having the first thing you see when you walk in be the organic, local foods section. Well, hey now. Organic and local... those are buzzwords I'm willing to sink a few extra bucks a pound for!

What happened next was surreal. As I was pushing my cart up an aisle, an old man grabbed my arm, and, I shit you not, looked me in the eye, saying, "This is one crazy store."

Rather than gently persuading this old man that one who grabs strangers by an arm in a produce aisle and starts up a conversation isn't the foremost expert at recognizing crazy, I agreed and shook off his death grip.

This experience may have clouded my overall opinion of the store, but when a crazy person grabs you with a foreboding statement a la any horror movie ever, you shit yourself with fear.

And he was right.

Everything about Wegmans is designed to convince you it's not a grocery store. You can see where food is prepared, allowing you to look past who is preparing it and focus solely on the idea of cleanliness this implies. A 50-year-old deli worker who just got off his smoke break looks like a sous chef when standing behind sneeze-guarding glass.

The carts you use to shop look like something a crazy old lady walks around an urban neighborhood with. they're shorter than your normal cart and comprise two different storage areas. This allows you to ... well, I'm not sure what it does exactly, but I bet it has some obscure design element that makes it preferable to a normal grocery cart designed for something like holding groceries.

There are people standing every fifteen feet with a sample of something-or-another that you could purchase had you not just eaten it for free. The purpose of these stations? Well, by taking food from an old man forced to sit while you push around an ergonomically designed cart, it reinforces the central message: You are better than him.

And really, that's what Wegmans philosophy boils down to. The store doesn't reach an upscale clientele - it reaches the middle class suburbanites and convinces them that they are the elite.

You want to pay more for organic food? Sure, we can accommodate you. Would a fair-trade label make you feel superior to the conservatives soaking their feet in a baby pool on the front lawn? Try our coffee! It comes from a country you've never cared to learn about but have a vague notion that it's in some financial or military hardships (which, by the way, so is America, but let's not lose focus here... poor people need your generosity all over).

As for the prices, I can only guess Wegmans is overpriced. I base this on the one observation of food stores I've found to be reliable: If the air conditioning causes goosebumps on your arms, congratulations, you're overpaying. BJ's schvitz is half of its saving. Trader Joe's subzero winter is why your pasta costs $3.49/pound.

Usually here's where people who are capable of forming a cohesive argument will write a conclusion that succinctly wraps up their thoughts. I am not one of those people, therefore, I will close with a random quote from a founding father.

"For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and provide for it." - Patrick Henry

Patrick Henry, extolling the virtues of the food court at Wegman's

Thoughts on the Arcade Fire's "The Suburbs"

2010-08-06T15:56:00.003-04:00

(I am not a musician. I also know very little about the history and composition of music, so I'm not terribly qualified to appraise this album. Therefore, this post will seem simplistic and amateurish. I apologize, but I just want to write something about the music I've been listening to, almost on a continuous loop, for the past three days.)

I really enjoyed The Arcade Fire's first two albums--Funeral (2004) and Neon Bible (2007)--so, naturally, I've been looking forward to the release of their album The Suburbs. I first listened to The Suburbs while organizing notes from graduate school and am now (for lack of a better word) addicted to it. I can't listen to one song without listening to the entire thing (similar to my viewing habits for Band of Brothers--if I see "Curahee" I will not be satisfied until I've watched the remaining nine episodes).

Much like great rock albums of the past, The Suburbs isn't merely a collection of songs, but a unified story with recurring sounds and themes. I've read some criticism about the lyrics tending to be a little venomous toward the Arcade Fire's own fans, but I'm not bothered by it. I imagine it's frustrating that the majority of your hipster/"Stuff White People Life"-esque fanbase talks a great deal about confronting social problems but then does little but judge and degrade people who do not share their beliefs or lifestyle choices.

Anyway, The Suburbs is a mystifying, mesmerizing piece of music that I highly recommend. Now I think I'll give it another listen while I work on my curriculum for next year.

Unanswered Questions

2010-08-03T12:11:00.004-04:00

I recently watched the Coen brothers' adaptation of No Country for Old Men for the first time in a long time. While the movie is a masterpiece, I still prefer the novel for a number of reasons (the most significant being Sheriff Bell's long, heart-breaking monologues which define the book's tone but are essentially impossible to adapt). That being said, the film makes a few detours from the book that end up being smart artistic choices.

The most notable of these is the decision to leave much of the plot in shadow. While McCarthy leaves a number of looming questions unanswered in the novel, the Coen brothers take this style of story-telling a step further in the movie.

Just to get us started...1) Who is the man who hires Wells and, presumably, Chigurh? 2) How do the Mexicans in the motel find the money? 3) Why doesn't Wells pick up the bag of money when he sees it in the weeds beside the bridge? 4) Does Chigurh kill the guy from accounting? 5) Who ends up with the money at the end? (We assume Chigurh, but it's not explicit) 6) If Chigurh does end up with the money, what does he do with it? (This question is answered in the book, as is 7) 7) Does Chigurh die from his wounds?

The deliberate omissions of these answers from the movie itself may drive some people mad, but I actually enjoy them. They do not interfere with understanding the ideas and emotions behind the film and, therefore, enjoyment of it. These questions encourage discussion and invite a Reader-Response criticism of the "text" (see Fish, Stanley). And unlike some movies, the unanswered questions do not slap you in the face or mess with your understanding of the film's tone (like the ending of Inception--am I supposed to feel a sense of catharsis or not?!).

Many great movies intentionally leave important pieces off-screen to similar effect (The Godfather Part II immediately comes to mind); it's nice to see the Coens following in that tradition.

This Movie Has a Great Soundtrack

2010-07-29T10:59:00.002-04:00

This is the opening theme to Nicholas Nickleby (2002). The composer is Rachel Portman.

I am a fan.

Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns

2010-07-28T16:47:00.008-04:00

I'm sure much has been written about the thematic and tonal similarities between Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns and Alan Moore's Watchmen. While some of the similarities need little pointing out, I thought I'd go ahead and write about them anyway (maybe just for my own gratification) and also marvel at the event of two writers coming up with such similar ideas for comic books and having them published in the very same year (1986).

In both books, superheroes have been forced to give up their fight for "truth and justice" due to the distrust and paranoia of the public. Superman has been enlisted to work for the US government in The Dark Knight Returns (which includes fighting in its sometimes-questionable wars), just as Doctor Manhattan in Watchmen. Both stories are set during a Cold War that is becoming anything but cold, both depict the role of the media in manipulating public opinion, and both feature presidents who are at once out-of-touch and power hungry. The Dark Knight Returns contains a fair dose of (much needed) macabre humor (in contrast to the deadly serious Watchmen), although it does an equally good job as its counterpart of shocking the reader with violence and displays of human depravity.

On the other hand, The Dark Knight Returns does not totally unravel the hero myth as Alan Moore attempts with Watchmen; the reader is typically left feeling ambivalent about The Batman and his role as a vigilante. Like Gordon and eventually Ellen Yindel, we might not embrace The Batman's campaign to work outside the law in order to bring peace to the city, but we recognize no alternative. Also, while it's Batman who is hunted and pursued for a litany of offenses, it's Superman's loyalty (although not always unquestioning) to the executive office that is truly disturbing. Alan Moore, on the other hand, would never give Bruce Wayne the credit: in his world, superheroes are either psychologically scarred mad men, lonely people who need a sense of adventure to give meaning to their lives, or walking hypocrites who rely on cruelty and violence to secure a system that is ostensibly founded on the principles of freedom and human rights. The Batman of The Dark Knight Returns would not fit into Moore's world of superheroes; somehow, I think Frank Miller would be okay with that.

Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell)

2010-07-21T22:24:00.002-04:00

Today's quote: "The choke-hold saved lives...but ah, nobody ever got elected saying that."--Kurt Russell as Detective Sergeant Eldon Perry Jr. in Dark Blue (2002).

This has been your dose of Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell).

Sir Walter Raleigh: A Man of Cynicism and Insight

2010-07-20T22:20:00.005-04:00

I was browsing my copy of the Norton Anthology of British Literature the other day, and happened to stumble across one of my favorite groups of writers: the Renaissance poets and dramatists. I decided to reread Walter Raleigh's "The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd," an anti-love poem penned in response to a sappy pro-love (or just "love," I guess) poem from Christopher Marlowe, because it's awesome.

I then decided to keep going and read another poem by Raleigh called "The Lie." In it, he accuses the Christian church of being hypocritical ("it shows good and doth no good"), calls love nothing but a nice word for base, animal impulses ("tell love it is but lust"), and reminds us that we're all going to die and decompose into inanimate dust sooner or later ("tell flesh it is but dust" and "tell age that it daily wasteth [intransitive, as in wastes away]/ tell beauty how she blasteth" [fades]), so there.

Have a nice day!

The Lie
Sir Walter Raleigh

Go, Soul, the body's guest,
Upon a thankless errand;
Fear not to touch the best;
The truth shall be thy warrant:
Go, since I needs must die,
And give the world the lie.

Say to the court, it glows
And shines like rotten wood;
Say to the church, it shows
What's good, and doth no good:
If church and court reply,
Then give them both the lie.

Tell potentates, they live
Acting by others' action;
Not loved unless they give,
Not strong but by a faction.
If potentates reply,
Give potentates the lie.

Tell men of high condition,
That manage the estate,
Their purpose is ambition,
Their practice only hate:
And if they once reply,
Then give them all the lie.

Tell them that brave it most,
They beg for more by spending,
Who, in their greatest cost,
Seek nothing but commending.
And if they make reply,
Then give them all the lie.

Tell zeal it wants devotion;
Tell love it is but lust;
Tell time it is but motion;
Tell flesh it is but dust:
And wish them not reply,
For thou must give the lie.

Tell age it daily wasteth;
Tell honour how it alters;
Tell beauty how she blasteth;
Tell favour how it falters:
And as they shall reply,
Give every one the lie.

Tell wit how much it wrangles
In tickle points of niceness;
Tell wisdom she entangles
Herself in overwiseness:
And when they do reply,
Straight give them both the lie.

Tell physic of her boldness;
Tell skill it is pretension;
Tell charity of coldness;
Tell law it is contention:
And as they do reply,
So give them still the lie.

Tell fortune of her blindness;
Tell nature of decay;
Tell friendship of unkindness;
Tell justice of delay:
And if they will reply,
Then give them all the lie.

Tell arts they have no soundness,
But vary by esteeming;
Tell schools they want profoundness,
And stand too much on seeming:
If arts and schools reply,
Give arts and schools the lie.

Tell faith it's fled the city;
Tell how the country erreth;
Tell manhood shakes off pity
And virtue least preferreth:
And if they do reply,
Spare not to give the lie.

So when thou hast, as I
Commanded thee, done blabbing--
Although to give the lie
Deserves no less than stabbing--
Stab at thee he that will,
No stab the soul can kill.

Langston Hughes, the Novelist

2010-07-15T19:35:00.006-04:00

Most people probably recognize Langston Hughes as a poet; specifically, the poet who wrote the poem "A Dream Deferred" from which Lorraine Hansberry extracted the title for her play "A Raisin in the Sun" and which is featured in any decent anthology of 20th century American Literature. Others might acknowledge Hughes as a member of the vanguard of the Harlem Renaissance, along with fellow writer Zora Neale Hurston and famous thinker W.E.B. Dubious. Very few would acknowledge Langston Hughes as a great American novelist; however, they do so mistakenly, as his novel Not Without Laughter is not just a great novel of the Harlem Renaissance, but a great novel of 20th century literature.

For the novel, Hughes takes a page from the great American and British Realists he probably read and studied as a young man. There's no great point or political message to Not Without Laughter. Rather, it is a painstakingly detailed (those details often being gritty and unpleasant) representation of life in early 20th century America for an average African-American family. The book is divided into thirty short chapters, most of which could stand alone as Hemingway-esque vignettes, and each revolving around a single event or idea.

The protagonist of the story is James (aka "Sandy") Rodgers, a fourth grade boy who lives with his grandmother (Aunt Hager), mother (Annjee), aunt (Harriet), and sometimes his itinerant father (Jimboy). The novel is somewhat of a bildungsroman, as it follows Sandy mature and develop as he deals with family issues, poverty, loneliness, discrimination, and death (the few instance of Sandy's stream of consciousness, usually when he's about to fall asleep, are incredibly accurate and honest), but I think Hughes intends a wider scope. Each member of his family seems to espouse (and live out) a different point of view on the generally miserable predicament of being black in the pre-Civil Rights days. Hager believes that racist white people should be forgiven (her friendship with the daughter of the family that owned her as a slave might have something to do with that), attends church regularly, and encourages Sandy to become the next George Washington Carver. Harriett hates all white people, believing that their disdain for blacks is deep-seeded and irreconcilable, and rejects the Christianity of her mother. Tempy, Sandy's oldest aunt, has moved up in the world and wants to prove to her white neighbors that black people can be successful, too. Therefore, she starts speaking and acting like a white person, which includes leaving the Baptist church of her family and joining the local Episcopal church, because she is ashamed of her poor upbringing. Annjee is the pragmatist of the bunch, working for a stuck-up white woman only because she needs the money to support her drifting husband (who eventually enlists to fight in WWI, never to be heard from again).

Interestingly, Hughes chooses to set the novel in Kansas, a state that did not enforce strict Jim Crow laws and general institutionalized racism like the states of the Deep South. While reasons for this decision are up for debate, I think Hughes is demonstrating to his contemporaries the even in parts of the country seen as more moderate or enlightened, life as an African-American (especially a poor African-American) is still unjustly difficult.

While the final chapter strikes a relatively uplifting note, those looking for clear messages or soap box rants will be disappointed. As a Realist novel, there's a lot of ambiguity and murkiness. For instance, black-face minstrel shows are featured more than once in the novel. While Hughes tells us that Sandy feels uncomfortable during the performances, many of the other black audience members clearly do not--how could they enjoy an act that is lampooning their very dignity? Just as in real life, there are no easy answers in Not Without Laughter.

Barbecued Translation

2010-07-13T09:20:00.007-04:00

Just some proof that the barbecue is not a solely modern pleasure. Courtesy of the Iliad.

αὐτὰρ ἐπεί ῥ᾽ εὔξαντο καὶ οὐλοχύτας προβάλοντο,
αὐέρυσαν μὲν πρῶτα καὶ ἔσφαξαν καὶ ἔδειραν,
μηρούς τ᾽ ἐξέταμον κατά τε κνίσῃ ἐκάλυψαν
δίπτυχα ποιήσαντες, ἐπ᾽ αὐτῶν δ᾽ ὠμοθέτησαν:
καῖε δ᾽ ἐπὶ σχίζῃς ὁ γέρων, ἐπὶ δ᾽ αἴθοπα οἶνον
λεῖβε: νέοι δὲ παρ᾽ αὐτὸν ἔχον πεμπώβολα χερσίν.
αὐτὰρ ἐπεὶ κατὰ μῆρε κάη καὶ σπλάγχνα πάσαντο,
μίστυλλόν τ᾽ ἄρα τἆλλα καὶ ἀμφ᾽ ὀβελοῖσιν ἔπειραν,
ὤπτησάν τε περιφραδέως, ἐρύσαντό τε πάντα.
αὐτὰρ ἐπεὶ παύσαντο πόνου τετύκοντό τε δαῖτα
δαίνυντ᾽, οὐδέ τι θυμὸς ἐδεύετο δαιτὸς ἐΐσης.
αὐτὰρ ἐπεὶ πόσιος καὶ ἐδητύος ἐξ ἔρον ἕντο,
κοῦροι μὲν κρητῆρας ἐπεστέψαντο ποτοῖο,
νώμησαν δ᾽ ἄρα πᾶσιν ἐπαρξάμενοι δεπάεσσιν:
οἳ δὲ πανημέριοι μολπῇ θεὸν ἱλάσκοντο
καλὸν ἀείδοντες παιήονα κοῦροι Ἀχαιῶν
μέλποντες ἑκάεργον: ὃ δὲ φρένα τέρπετ᾽ ἀκούων.
ἦμος δ᾽ ἠέλιος κατέδυ καὶ ἐπὶ κνέφας ἦλθε,
δὴ τότε κοιμήσαντο παρὰ πρυμνήσια νηός. (Iliad 1.458-476)

But after they prayed and threw forth the barley groats,
They first drew back the victim's head, slaughtered and flayed it,
Cutting out the thighs and covering them with fat
Double-layered, upon them they laid the slices:
The old man burned them upon the firewood, and over it the shining wine
He did pour: the youths beside him held the five-pronged forks in their hands.
But after the thighs were burned, and the innards eaten,
They sliced up the rest to be speared upon the spits,
These they carefully roasted and drew all off the skewers.
It was then that they ceased their labor and made ready the meal
Sharing in the food, their hearts lacking nothing of the equal feast.
But after they put away their desire for food and drink,
To the brim the boys filled the mixing bowls with wine,
And beginning with the cups did they pass around the libation to all:
All day long did they appease the god with song and dance
As the Achaian boys sang the beautiful paian
Celebrating the far-worker Apollo: whoever listened took joy in his heart.
When the sun sank and the darkness came upon them,
Only then did they lay down beside the ships' sterns to sleep.

To My Friends at Google

2010-07-11T11:38:00.004-04:00

You have technology that allows me to visit, at street level, almost any neighborhood in the United States.

Could you please find a way to prevent the comments for our blog from being SPAMed with weird messages and Asian porn?

I, for one, would be grateful.

Sincerely,

Sean Thomas

My Favorite Warm Up Song...

2010-07-07T23:44:00.004-04:00

...for Major League pitchers. Not that I've heard all of them and not that I don't appreciate Roy Halladay's choice of "Moby Dick," but Brian Matusz's (of the Baltimore Orioles) choice of Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down" is brilliant; the song is haunting and intimidating. What more could a starting pitcher want from his warm up song?

Now if only it would help the Orioles score more than 2 runs in a given game.

Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell)

2010-07-07T23:37:00.002-04:00

Today's quote: "Sweetheart, it's like you're two people..."--Kurt Russell as Drew Stephens in Silkwood (1983). (I'm not sure what this means because I've never seen Silkwood; I just found it on IMDB.)

This has been your dose of Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell).

Awesomely Bad Horror Movies: "Legion" (2010)

2010-07-06T22:48:00.004-04:00

A more contemporary entry into the Awesomely Bad Horror Movie library comes to us from writer/director Scott Charles Stewart.

I will now attempt to describe the plot of Legion: God gets mad at humanity (are we really worse now than we were during...say....around 1942-1945? Or when slavery was rampant? Or how about those good times known as the Middle Ages?) so He decides to wipe us off that face of the earth just like He did with the flood, but for good this time (I guess?). Unfortunately, there is a baby about to be born who will....do something to prevent this plan from taking place. So God sends His angels down to earth to take out this baby. Unfortunately, the unborn baby is holed up in a crappy diner in the middle of the desert, so the angels take over a bunch of people's bodies (didn't realize angels could do that) and attempt to get into the diner.

Meanwhile, the Archangel Michael has some problems with God's latest orders, so he abandons his fellow angels and vows to protect the unborn child. Some stock characters in the diner help Michael shoot a bunch of angel-possessed people. Then, believe it or not, things make even less sense when the angel Gabriel comes down to initiate an angel brawl with Michael.

Why couldn't God just send another flood?

There is a scary old lady who crawls on the ceiling and an ice cream man who becomes praying mantis-like (not to mention a mysterious if not underexposed character with a bag over his/her head who bangs on a car with a club), but not much else here.

Legion is a strange and terrible movie that has no idea what it's doing. Welcome to the ranks.

Letters from Greece IV: The Argolid and the Corinthia

2010-07-05T11:00:00.007-04:00

In November I traveled to the Argolid, a peninsula on the southern side of the Saronic Gulf (the north of which is bound by Athens and its countryside, Attica). The trip started on a 4 mile hike through the Berbati Valley. Most of the hike was spent learning about the plants of the area – which are purported aphrodisiacs, which are purported anti-aphrodisiacs, which you can grind up and use as shotgun powder in the event of participation in an ill-supplied guerilla insurgency, and which contain a mild neurotoxin that can blind you for a week or so if it comes into contact with your eyes.

The Berbati Valley

The next day we were at Mycenae, the famed stronghold of Agamemnon, who attacked Troy with his brother Menelaus. The place was identified by the 19th century German archaeologist Heinrich Schliemann. Schliemann was a merchant who worked from St. Petersburg to California before using his wealth for archaeological pursuits. He supposedly slept with the Iliad under his pillow, and by attempting to read the topography in the poem and match it to what he saw on the ground, he looked for the allegedly fictitious places of Troy and Mycenae. Not the soundest of methods – but the problem with decrying the poor methodology is that it worked. Formerly regarded as fiction, the Iliad and Odyssey are now thought to have some kernels of truth in them. Archaeological work continues at Troy, in northwest Turkey, to this day. Mycenae is now known as part of a heretofore unknown civilization – called the Mycenaeans – that was widespread in southern Greece from 1300-1150 BC. They had their own language that is the predecessor to ancient Greek, called Linear B, which was deciphered in the 1950s by English architect Michael Ventris.

The citadel of Mycenae

The monumental Lion Gate entrance to Mycenae

Mycenae sits on a low hill set up against larger mountains and overlooking a wide valley. This is a common topographical point for the construction of citadels in order to gain and keep possession of arable valley land. This is repeated at the Mycenaean sites of Tiryns, Gla, and Argos. It is surrounded by a monumental wall and a spectacular gate topped by two lions. Just inside the gate were found massive graves, unusual for being inside the city wall, with gold funeral masks and swords. Outside the city was a massive beehive tomb, its mouth facing towards the city hill in a sign of elite display. Mycenae itself was a complex site with several walls, cult and ritual areas, crowned by a megaron – a palace structure modeled after older domestic buildings.

Beehive tomb outside of Mycenae, also known as the Treasury of Atreus

Schliemann was also known for some underhanded and obsessive behavior. It is widely believed that he forged antiquities or bought real antiquities from locals and planted them in the ground, only to be “found” by him. He framed his whole life as a quest to prove that the Iliad and Odyssey were real, saying that he had envisioned his archaeological discoveries since he was ten. He was so fixated on ancient Greek culture that he married a local Greek girl (aged 17 at the time, to his 47), photographed her wearing gold jewelry that he found at Troy (“Priam’s Treasure”), and named his children Agamemnon (after the Greek general of the Trojan War) and Andromache (after the wife of the Trojan hero Hector). He is buried in an ostentatious tomb in Athens that is modeled after an ancient Greek temple.

Sophia Engastromenos, Schliemann's wife, dressed in the gold treasure from Troy

Schliemann's tomb in the First Cemetery of Athens

I stayed in Nafplio. The seaside town now is mostly quiet, but very nice and quite unlike other Greek towns. Its predominant features are its harbor and its hilltop castle. Frankish Crusaders, who had taken Constantinople in 1204 and established the Latin Principality of the Morea to the south of Nafplio in the Peloponnese, conquered the city in 1212. The Venetians bought it 150 years later, but the Ottomans took it in 1540. The Venetians returned and conquered the city in 1685. After this, they constructed most of the fortifications on the hill which you see today, called the Palamidi castle. The Turks took it once again in 1715 as they eliminated the Venetian presence in Greece permanently. In this way, Nafplio’s historical trajectory resembles many of the maritime forts of the Peloponnese, which was a major theatre of conflict between Ottomans and Venetians for control of the Eastern Mediterranean Sea.

Gate to the castle at Nafplio with the winged lion of St. Mark, the patron saint of Venice

Remnants of Turkish rule in Nafplio: an Ottoman fountain

Greek rebels liberated the castle in 1822. Archistrategos (Field Marshal) Theodoros Kolokotronis led the siege and rode into Palamidi in December of that year. Petros Mavromichalis, who had in 1814 plotted with Napoleon to coordinate a Greek revolt with a French attack on the Ottoman Empire (it never materialized – Napoleon was unable to gain a foothold in Egypt), then threw Kolokotronis into prison in the very castle he conquered. The Greeks were fond of infighting.

I visited the Kolokotronis’ prison – a dark, dank cell of about 1.5 square meters, it is a reused cistern. To enter, you must stoop down and crawl through the singular tunnel entrance and hop down into the rock-cut room. There are no windows and the walls are still covered with a black petroleum-based substance that was used to waterproof the chamber.

In January 1828, the Count Ioannis Kapodistrias, scion of a noble family from a Venetian-held Greek island, took his seat there as Greece’s first Kybernitis – “Governor” (if you like, gubernatorial sounds closer as an etymological descendant). He was a natural choice, since his long career as a diplomat in the court of Imperial Russia removed him from the rivalries of the Greek insurgency. But in 1831 he imprisoned Petros Mavromachilis in an attempt to curb the influence of family loyalties in favor of regular political appointees. On October 9 of that year, Mavromachilis’ brother Konstantis and his son Giorgos gunned down Kapodistrias as he left the church of St. Spyridon in Nafplio; a bullet from the assassination remains embedded in the church wall next to the entrance. The chaos of clan vengeance had defeated parliamentary law and order in the first trial of the modern Greek nation.

Church of St. Spyridon in Nafplio, the site of the assassination of Ioannis Kapodistrias

This paved the way for wider Western European intervention in Greece, partly in order to prevent the state from slipping into anarchy and becoming reabsorbed into the Ottoman Empire, and partly to prevent any one of the Great Powers (Britain, France, Russia) from monopolizing influence in the country. It is telling that Greece was not a party to the treaty of May 1832 that established the neutral Prince Otto of Bavaria to be the King of Greece.

It was Nafplio, and not Athens, that was the Greeks’ first choice for capital of Greece. This reflects in part what a backwater Athens had become. But it is also indicative of the city’s insignificance in the contemporary Greek consciousness. Athens was the past, and the modern Greek nation was looking towards the future. Athens’ eventual rise as the capital was more due to foreigners’ fascination with ancient Greece. When Otto’s Bavarian entourage arrived in Athens they began designing a monumental city complete with a palace, gardens, promenades, and a university. These were perhaps more at home in Paris than Athens, but they were designed in part to re-culture those modern Greeks, whom the West considered to be unsuitable heirs to the glories of Classical Athens. The city, which in 1830 could boast a population of 5,000-10,000, now is host to 4 million.

A major stop of the trip was Epidauros, where was located a healing shrine at which the sick slept and received dreams and healing from the god Asklepios. The popularity of the sanctuary allowed the construction of a theatre, which after a Roman expansion could seat 15,000 people. We turned south towards the western coast of the Argolid peninsula to reach the Franchthi Cave, a cave complex with an incredible occupation history stretching from 30,000 BC to 3,000 BC.

Inside the Franchthi Cave

I moved from Nafplio to Nea Korinthos – New Corinth. The modern town, unfortunately, was something less than exciting. At least there was a bowling alley. The majority of our time for the next few days would be spent at Archaia Korinthos – Ancient Corinth – about three miles away from the site of the modern city. Corinth is one of the major excavation sites of the American School, which has been working there since the late 19th century.

Corinth is situated on the Isthmus, the narrow strip of land that connects the Megarid and Attica to the southern peninsula of the Peloponnese, and which divides the Corinthian Gulf to the west with the Saronic Gulf to the east. Corinth was ideally situated to control sea and land traffic. On land, from Athens down into Sparta. And by sea, from the West (Sicily, Italy, the western Balkans and all the way north to Venice) and from the East (the Near East and Egypt). The two ports were connected by the Diolkos, a dirt and stone road along which ships could be dragged from one end to the other. While there were plans for a canal across the 4-mile Isthmus since the 7th century BC (and attempts by such figures as Julius Caesar and Nero), only modern technology could complete such a project. The French built a throughway in 1890-1893.

Portion of the Diolkos road

It is no surprise, then, that Corinth became a prosperous city very early in its history, and was particularly prominent in the period known as the Archaic period – the late 8th century down to the 470s BC. The evidence for this prosperity is primarily economic. Corinthian pottery is to be found throughout the eastern and central Mediterranean area. Corinthians also founded a number of important colonies. These include Kerkyra in Greece (also known as Corfu), Apollonia and Epidamnos (both in modern Albania), and Syracuse in Sicily.

The Isthmus, furthermore, was protected by a series of walls across it. The Mycenaeans may have been the first one to build such a wall. The Peloponnesians planned to build one in 480 BC to fend off the Persian invasions. The idea was revisited in the AD 400s after the Visigoths invaded Greece. One was built in the 1400s, called the Hexamilion (“Six-Miler”), to protect against the Turks, but to no avail. The Peloponnese was conquered in 1460. The historian Herodotus’ observation almost two millennia earlier turned out to be prophetic for the Byzantine defenders: an Isthmus wall is useless without control of the surrounding sea.

The primary feature of ancient Corinth is its acropolis – Acrocorinth. Most visible are its walls, constructed in the Byzantine period and greatly expanded by the Venetians, forming a massive gate on the western slope that is littered with broken cannon. These were the walls that in the early 13th century protected Leo Sgouros, the Byzantine lord of the Corinth area, against the siege of Boniface of Montferrat, a Frankish invader who came along with the Fourth Crusade that conquered Constantinople. Eventually Boniface surrounded Acrocorinth with his own forts, and in despair Sgouros rode his horse off the cliffs. Corinth was the last major Byzantine city in Greece to fall to the Franks.

Corinth: Acrocorinth with 6th Century BC temple of Apollo in foreground

Inside the walls are many interesting structures. These include a Byzantine barracks, cisterns and wells, and a mosque from the Ottoman period. Outside Acrocorinth is the lower city, along with its agora. The agora area is very complex and despite more than a century of excavations it is difficult to get a sense of the earlier periods of occupation. The main reason for this is that in 146 BC, the Romans destroyed Corinth, and large-scale habitation did not begin again until Caesar re-established a colony a century later. Monuments include the Peirene fountain, a public fountain house with three basins behind a U-shaped portico. There is also a massive stoa (long and skinny building with a colonnade and shops and rooms in the rear – like an ancient strip mall) that formed the south side of the Roman forum, 178m long. It originally was built in the 200s BC but was expanded under the Romans. The inclusion of wells in every room and the presence of plates indicates that these rooms served as areas for receiving and feeding diplomats from Macedonia (in the 200s BC) and Rome.

Corinth is also well known for being a recipient of two of St. Paul’s letters. St. Paul was also arraigned by the Roman governor Gallio, brother of the philosopher Seneca the Younger, in the city of Corinth.

“While Gallio was proconsul of Achaia, the Jews of Corinth made a united attack on Paul and brought him to the place of judgment. ‘This man," they charged, ‘is persuading the people to worship God in ways contrary to the law.’
Just as Paul was about to speak, Gallio said to them, ‘If you Jews were making a complaint about some misdemeanor or serious crime, it would be reasonable for me to listen to you. But since it involves questions about words and names and your own law—settle the matter yourselves. I will not be a judge of such things.’” (Acts 18:12-15).

This engenders a certain amount of religious tourism, especially the part about “bringing him to the place of judgment.” The actual Greek says “epi to bema” or “to the bema.” A bema is a platform for public speaking. And on the south side of the Roman forum is a pile of stones with a platform on top and a sign that reads “The Bema.” Many Christians come here to stand on the spot where St. Paul himself stood.

The bema at Corinth: did St. Paul stand on this spot?

But the story at Corinth is a little more complex than that. In the 1950s the American archaeologist Homer Thompson was the director of the American School dig in the Athenian Agora, and he received millions of dollars from the Rockefeller family to reconstruct the Stoa of Attalos in Athens, a 2nd century BC monument, in order to serve as storeroom, offices, and a museum. The director of the Corinth dig, Oscar Broneer, was quite jealous that his colleague was getting a large influx of money and the largest and most recognizable reconstructed ancient building. Having discovered the speakers’ rostrum, Broneer promptly reconstructed it, placing a round altar to mark where St. Paul may have stood, and a sign that says “The Bema” was erected in order to attract religious tourists.

The only problem is that St. Paul was probably arraigned in the Roman structure that was more typically used for court hearings – at the Basilica on the east side of the Forum, about 500 feet from the Bema. But now almost 700,000 people go to Corinth each year, many just to see the Bema, and its importance to the prestige of the site and the local economy is too great to change the signs, so the white lie persists. Appropriately, a chorus of Japanese Christians circled the Bema and raised their voices in song as I listened to the more complex history of the monument. It is perhaps best understood as a lesson in the multiplicity of interests, not all of them academic, invested in an archaeological site.

With Corinth and the Argolid behind me, I completed my tour of mainland Greece outside Athens, and looked forward to exploring Athens and its surrounding countryside, the province of Attica.

Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell)

2010-06-30T18:42:00.002-04:00

Today's quote: "Come on, you meat puppet! Who pulls your strings?"--Kurt Russell as Gabriel Cash in Tango & Cash (1989).

This has been your dose of Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell).

He's Dead, Jim

2010-06-30T18:08:00.003-04:00

By "he" I mean not so much the man but the career of M. Night Shyamalan, and by Jim I mean...well, I'm not very sure in this instance.

After years of insisting on writing his own scrips based on original ideas, M. Night Shyamalan capitulated several years back and agreed to bring Nickelodeon's popular (I guess?) anime series "Avatar: The Last Airbender" to the silver screen.

If the early reviews are anything to go by, Shyamalan's The Last Airbender is shaping up to be a certified disaster (his third in a row!). But unlike his previous bombs, this latest movie looks to have cost a lot of money to make (judging by all the CGI in the commercials, an abuse I believe Shyamalan himself used to complain about). With such awful reviews most likely leading to awful word of mouth, it's hard to imagine this movie doing remotely well at the box office. I imagine dedicated "Avatar" fans will rush out to see it (are there any?), but after that it doesn't look good. In a recent interview on WMMR's Preston and Steve, Shyamalan expressed the desire to keep making movies in Philadelphia as long as "[my movies] keep making money." As much as it sucks (because it's great when movies and TV shows stay local), Night will probably be making his next movie out in L.A.

That is, if he gets the opportunity to make another movie. Because believe it or not, his movies are actually getting worse. The Village (2004) pulled off a 43% on Rotten Tomatoes, the bewildering Lady in the Water (2006) received a 24%, while his last outing, The Happening (2008), managed just an 18%. As of right now, Airbender is hovering around a 10%.

I've already shared by my theory about how a man who appears to have genuine talent could plunge so deeply after the phenomenal Sixth Sense and the under-appreciated Unbreakable. That theory was espoused before seeing The Happening and way before seeing the critical reaction to Airbender (a movie I have no intention of ever seeing). Is it possible that Shyamalan really only had a handful of good ideas and once they were gone...that was it? Maybe he should try his hand in directing movies that he hasn't written. I don't know, anything to shake things up. Because as much as I want to like a successful writer/director who has stayed faithful to his roots in almost Barry Levinson fashion, with each new movie it gets harder and harder.

Jan de Bont and William Rose

2010-06-29T20:19:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I found myself perusing Bill Bryson's collection of essays about moving back to America after 20 odd years in Europe called I'm a Stranger Here Myself. There's one essay called "Lost at the Movies" in which Bryson bemoans the death of the huge, locally owned, single-screen movie theaters (usually situated in the downtown of larger towns and cities) and the rise of the sprawling multiplexes in the suburbs.

He also has some funny things to say about the Hollywood summer blockbuster (particularly The Lost World, as the book is from the late 90s), while acknowledging that they are "the cinematic equivalent of an amusement park ride."

One interesting, if not alarming, piece of information dropped in the essay concerns the creative origins of another bad disaster movie from the summer of 1997: Speed 2: Cruise Control.

Apparently..."Jan de Bont, director of Speed 2: Cruise Control,...boasted that the movie's biggest dramatic event--in which an out-of-control cruise ship carrying Sandra Bullock plows into a Caribbean village--came to him in a dream. 'The entire screenplay was written backward from that image,' he revealed proudly. There, I think, you have all you need to know about the intellectual quality of the average summer movie."

While Speed 2: Cruise Control is probably as unwatchable as they come (I can't actually admit to ever even trying), the plot for another movie, the original Ladykillers, also came to the screenwriter (William Rose) in a dream. The major difference is (if there is one), The Ladykillers is a good movie while Speed 2: Cruise Control sucks.

To add to the confusion, I just finished Mikhail Bulgakov's strange and haunting novel The Master and Margarita (which has its own blog post coming up soon) in which, on more than one occasion, dreaming is linked with the creative process. So maybe Bill Bryon is only partially right: using a dream as inspiration for a written work isn't inherently bad; it just doesn't work if the dreamer in question is an idiot....like Jan de Bont.

A Class Act

2010-06-25T17:09:00.003-04:00

The "ace" of the Mets has been accused of raping some woman on a Florida golf course (?) last fall. Now, she's probably making it up (Santana has gone on record as saying that the sexual encounter was purely consensual), but I'm pretty sure Santana is a married man, so he's still a dickhead. A lesser dickhead, but a dickhead still.

Then again, it's hard to believe that anyone would consensually have sex with this man. Although if it happened last fall, it was before his bases-loaded walk to Jamie Moyer this season. So he had that going for him, I guess.

Is Nostalgia Enough to Get by on?

2010-06-23T23:27:00.006-04:00

Don't get me wrong, nobody enjoys a trip down video game memory lane more than I do, but I'm starting to wonder about Nintendo's model for future success. At the E3 show last week, some of the biggest games they announced were sequels or rehashes of popular franchises (Kirby, Donkey Kong Country, Zelda, etc.) The Goldeneye...uh...remake? rehash? reimagining?...whatever it is, looks like it's going to design its entire marketing strategy on people's fondness of the N64 game.

What with the New Super Mario Brothers reminding people of the good old platforming days of the NES and Super Nintendo, Mario Kart Wii reminding us of those spent playing the N64 version (even featuring a number of tracks from it, too), and now Goldeneye's second coming, it's clear that Nintendo is using nostalgia to sell its games. Now, there's nothing wrong with that...it's just, well, at some point that nostalgia is going to run out, right? I mean, there have been quite a few innovations to come along with the Wii and the different DSI incarnations, but I wonder how long people will keep buying up remakes for $50 a piece when they can just fire up the N64 or SNES for free.

I guess we'll see how this upcoming crop of games turns out. In the meantime, I'm going to watch the Donkey Kong Country Returns gameplay footage and pretend it's 1995 all over again.

Proof That George Lucas Only Cares about Money

2010-06-22T00:32:00.002-04:00

Bam: Here it is.

Oops. Actually, here it is.

Sorry, here is the real, real proof of Lucas' shamelessly selling out:

CNN's Newest Reviewers

2010-06-21T11:18:00.004-04:00

CNN featured a delightful little segment where they had 4-year-olds review "Toy Story 3." This wasn't the first time they did this though.

"Reservoir Dogs review from a 4-year-old"

CNN.com: What's Reservoir Dogs about?

Kylie: It's a movie about these guys who wear funny clothes. And they're at a restaurant. They have silly names.

CNN.com: What are their names?

Kylie: I forget but they're all different colors! I like colors!

CNN.com: What's your favorite color?

Kylie: Listen, bitch. Don't patronize me and don't fucking interrupt me again.

CNN.com: Sorry. What happens in the movie?

Kylie: They go to a store and then they go to a big room. And two of them are there. And one of them is dancing.

CNN.com: What kind of dance?

Kylie: Is that really important? No wonder you guys have no journalistic credibility. It's a dance, get over it. Anyway, he dances, and splashes water on another guy and then he does other mean stuff?

CNN.com: What kind of mean stuff?

Kylie: Look, it's some really fucked up shit. I don't want to ruin it for your readers.

CNN.com: Did you like the movie?

Kylie: Yes, but then again, I think my toys come alive, so I'm not exactly the most reliable source. Speaking of unreliable sources, way to fuck up your coverage of the Iraq war four years before I was bornded.

Who's Going to Spoil the Party?

2010-06-15T23:08:00.003-04:00

As of Tuesday night, with 11 reviews in, Toy Story 3 has a 100% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. This situation is not abnormal--many movies, especially from well regarded franchises (like Toy Story), will get phenomenal early reviews and then slowly slide down the ratings as more and more reviews come in.

What is somewhat unique about Toy Story 3, however, is that its two predecessors both feature 100% fresh ratings. So the first person to give the third installment a negative rating will be the first person, according to Rotten Tomatoes, to submit a bad review of a Toy Story movie...ever.

I remember two years ago, Wall-E was getting great early reviews but finally got two negative ones that ruined its 100%. Some readers, taking these things a bit too seriously, left all kinds of nasty comments attached to the reviews.

Given the historical weight in play for Toy Story 3, I can't wait to see the reception the inevitable first bad review will get (especially if it's from Armond White, the most hated critic among Rotten Tomatoes commentors). The pressure's on.

(Update 6/18, approximately 9:30 PM): Well, it's happened: Armond White (yep, that guy) and Cole Smithey (?) have given "rotten" reviews to Toy Story 3, dropping it to a 99% fresh score. People with nothing better to do...let the flaming begin! (And don't hold back, although I probably don't have to tell you that.)

The End of an Era

2010-06-14T22:56:00.005-04:00

Saint Katharine School: 1903-2010

If anyone wants to show support (as much as you can call the tepid "like" feature on Facebook support), search for "Saint Katharine School" (spell out Saint) on Facebook and add it to pages you like.

As lame and anemic as it is, I hate to think that this school is being erased from history (because it feels like it is) and online groups are a way of dealing with it (I guess). It's at least worth a try.

The Good Old Days

2010-06-09T10:32:00.002-04:00

I'm without cable. Have been for quite sometime (since moving into an apartment last fall).

I had somehow managed to live - if you can call it that - without cable television for the better part of my life. Not better in terms of quality, mind you, just a long portion of my life.

So something strange happened to me this morning (and on several occasions over the last few months): I woke up not knowing what happened with the Phillies yesterday. I found out when I looked at the headlines of a newspaper in Wawa and then read the box score at work.

Sure, I could have checked the web if I had thought to. I could have gotten the results from the radio. But there was something nice, I dare say nostalgic, about learning the results of the previous day's game from print media.

But there were some disturbing things about it, too.

Not knowing what happened 12 hours ago is suddenly a big deal. Finding out the result of a game the next day is a momentous occasion, not the normal state it once was.

Games are concrete: There's generally a winner or a loser or it ends in a tie. In any case, you get a pretty clear picture of what happened.

But most news isn't this way. It needs time to develop and what we know right away is usually very little and very incomplete, leaving our minds and prejudices to fill in the blanks with what we want to believe happened.

How much did we know about the BP oil rig explosion when it first happened? How much did we know about the resulting oil spill? What about hours later? Days later? How much do we even know about it now?

Sadly, this will soon be the norm (if it isn't already). Instant news, followed by instant reaction, and, if the story is big enough, later analysis and fact finding.

Maybe it's time to slow down a little. Not to report on something the moment you get cameras to the scene, but rather once you've gotten facts. Save the live coverage of the burning building until you have credible information on it.

Until then, we'll have raised an entire generation who will expect complex situations to be ball games, with a clearly defined story line and result within minutes of the event.

And we'll have kids who don't only not know how to read a box score, they'll see no need for one.

Underrated Classic of the Week: "Amistad" (1997)

2010-06-08T15:32:00.008-04:00

The Setup: About 20 years before the Civil War, a slave ship bound for the Americas is overtaken by the would-be slaves in an act of rebellion and unintentionally winds up on the shores of the United States. At this time, the United States has banned the slave trade, so a couple of abolitionists (Stellan Skarsgard and Morgan Freeman) hire a novice lawyer (Matthew McConaughey) to prove that the "slaves" were being illegally transported from Africa (which, of course, they were). Due to the political ambitions of President Martin van Buren, however, what should be an open and shut case becomes a drawn-out legal battle, trying the patience and mettle of everyone involved, especially the de facto leader of the Mendes (the West African tribe), Cinque (Djimon Hounsou).

Why a Classic?: Like many of Spielberg's "serious" movies, Amistad is about an instance of success amid great historical failure. Some people may feel uncomfortable with this notion in general and with Amistad's uplifting ending and message in particular, but I don't think it's a bad thing to recognize some rare flashes of human decency in otherwise inhumane times (Schindler's List performs a similar act). The acting is sterling all around (who knew Matthew McConaughey could be likable as an actor?) and the direction (not surprisingly) is sure-handed and powerful; you will find yourself on more than one occasion with either a lump in your throat or a tear in your eye. Cinque's flashback of his kidnapping and time aboard the slave ships is disturbing and jarring (as it should be), but this isn't a cliched rant against slavery and racism. Rather, it is a testament to democracy and how its flexibility allows for social change and the betterment of its people, although the process might be slow, painful and (as Martin Van Buren so ably demonstrates) extremely frustrating. Also, although you know it's coming, John Quincy Adams' (Anthony Hopkins) speech before the Supreme Court is one of the best monologues in recent cinema.

Why Underrated?: When's the last time a historical drama (that doesn't feature any of the following: Mel Gibson, Russell Crowe, or rampant, gratuitous violence) has been embraced by the public? Amistad requires a careful ear and the full attention of the viewer to fully appreciate and enjoy. It's a shame Amistad gets lost among the many good movies Steven Spielberg has made, but it's one of his quieter, more personal, and therefore better movies.

My One-Month-Late Review of Iron Man 2

2010-06-06T10:21:00.005-04:00

This time, there are guys in robot suits fighting each other....oh wait...(spoilers herein)

The highlights: Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark--he owns this role (between these movies, Tropic Thunder, and Sherlock Holmes, Downey's career resurrection is nothing short of incredible). Jon Favreau expanding his role as Happy Hogan and providing some of the best comic relief in the movie. Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer--weird, pathetic, and basically evil, Hammer is the true villain in the movie (my apologies to Mickey Rourke's underdeveloped Ivan Vanko). And as much as I hate mindless action scenes, the climactic battle was actually pretty exciting and not overly drawn-out as I feared it might be.

The low-lights: As much as Don Cheadle rocks, he can't quite fill the shoes of Terrance Howard--why couldn't we just pay the man some more money? The chemistry between Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts doesn't seem as natural this time around for some reason. Scarlett Johansson's character, other than being really attractive, doesn't really add much to the story (although she kicks some serious ass at the end). The whole thing feeling a little bit rushed, underdeveloped, and frantic due to its numerous subplots.

And the just plain weird: Tony Stark's entire birthday party--from the DJing to the drunken brawl in his Iron Man suit. Tony Stark's "discovering" a new element. Ivan Vanko pulling a Predator ("yeah, you've killed me but all of these drones are rigged with explosive devices, so ha!") and, like the Predator, somehow believing this technique will actually work (he even has the gall to announce to Tony Stark, "you lose"). Too much time spent setting up for the upcoming "Avengers" movie. And why did the pain-in-the-ass senator have to be from Pennsylvania? It's not like Pennsylvania has a recent track-record of opportunistic, shamelessly political, or just plain evil representation in the Senate...oh, who did Bob Casey Jr. defeat a few years ago? That's right--never mind.

The upshot: If you're an Iron Man fan, or if you enjoyed the first movie, then it's worth a viewing. Iron Man 2 is pretty middle-of-the-road; it doesn't improve upon its predecessor as some superhero sequels have (Spider-Man 2, The Dark Knight, X-Men 2). It also wouldn't hurt to wait for the DVD rental because while Iron Man 2 isn't bad, it's also not great. (Then again, if you're dying to see a movie this weekend, any other prospects look pretty grim.)

Roy Halladay, You Are the Man

2010-05-30T22:23:00.001-04:00

You found a good time to become the man, too--right when your offense decided not to score any runs for about a week. In any case, amazing accomplishment. I'm glad I was able to catch the final inning.

The Joys of Netflix's Streaming Library

2010-05-30T00:11:00.003-04:00

What initially began as a shaky experiment in offering a limited movie library (of typically crappy movies) available, at no additional cost, to be streamed online has turned into a genuine success for Netflix. Browsing their library these past few weeks, I've discovered the entire series of Quantum Leap, the Ken Burns documentaries, a number (maybe all) of the Pixar movies, Michael Palin's travel documentaries, and other good movies and TV shows that I can't fathom right now.

I also got halfway through An American Tail which has held up decently over the past twenty some years. The animation isn't very good, but I like the idea of anthropomorphic, immigrant mice coming to America because "there are no cats in America and the roads are paved with cheese." (Although it's also kind of a rip off of Maus.)

Plus, it features this song:

Anyway, the upshot is: take a look at Netflix's growing library of streaming movies. I don't know if Blockbuster will be able to hold out much longer.

I Had Forgotten about This...

2010-05-20T21:00:00.004-04:00

Which is, of course, completely unacceptable.

Not sure what reminded me of Norm MacDonald's hilarious "anti-roast" at the Roast of Bob Saget from two years ago, but I'm glad it did.

While all the other roasters attempted to be as crude and distasteful as possible (not that I'm condemning that kind of humor...it just gets a little redundant, especially in this kind of setting), Norm MacDonald decided to poke fun at the entire concept of a roast by attacking Bob and the other roasters with intentionally cheesy, unfunny insults. He then proceeds to offer some genuinely kind words to Mr. Saget, which I thought was a nice touch.

Judging by the laughter of the audience (or lack thereof), not many people got the humor. (I can't stop laughing every time I watch it--MacDonald is king of the deadpan.) Ah well--different strokes for different folks.

The Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget

Outtakes - Norm MacDonald Pt. 1

www.comedycentral.com

Futurama New Episodes

Ugly Americans

Funny TV Comedy Blog

Nathaniel Fick's Eloquent, Harrowing Account

2010-05-14T22:14:00.004-04:00

I recently finished the memoir One Bullet Away: The Making of a Marine Corps Officer. Its author, Nathaniel Fick, tells about his decision to join the Marines during his junior year of college, his time at OCS (Officer Candidate School) and TBS (The Basic School), before being trained as an infantry officer. He ends up serving in Afghanistan in late 2001 and during the invasion of Iraq (this time as an elite Recon Marine--basically, the Marine version of special forces).

Fick majored in Classics at Dartmouth College, so it's no wonder that One Bullet Away is extremely well written. The battlefield accounts are vivid and jarring; I found these section difficult to read, due to their intensity and violence, but also hard to put down. He also walks the reader through his decision-making process in joining the Marines back in his junior year of college: he felt like dedicating himself to public service (the Peace Corps and Teach for America not enticing enough) and, as he put it, "slaying dragons." Joining the Marines would satisfy both of those desires.

Not surprisingly, his struggles with readjusting to civilian life are the most poignant part of the book. When Fick nearly breaks down after learning that his replacement, Captain Brent Morel, has been killed in an ambush in Fallujah, I felt like weeping with him.

Watching a talk he gave in 2006 about his book and his experience in the military (watch it here) has only raised my opinion of Nathaniel Fick.

As for One Bullet Away, I highly recommend giving it a chance this summer. It's not always the easiest of reads (due to its content), but it's well written and always interesting. Most importantly, it presents a narrative that stays with you.

Why I Might Not Venture a Trip Back to Citizens Bank Park Until the Phillies Are Bad Again

2010-05-09T22:13:00.004-04:00

In a picture:

Two fans running around the field and South Jersey trash intentionally throwing up on a little girl and we're not even half way through May? I kind of miss the days of being able to walk up for cheap, nosebleed tickets and then moving down after the 2nd inning. You know, when the Phillies were bad and the scum of the Delaware Valley would stay home and do...whatever it is they did before the Phillies got good again and they collectively decided to come out to ruin their games.

Question of the Day

2010-04-28T20:21:00.003-04:00

What is this bear doing to Brendan Fraser?

The Orioles Blues

2010-04-27T20:42:00.003-04:00

During the radio broadcast of every game, Joe Angel announces that every time an Orioles closer saves a game, a certain sum of money will be donated to a local charity.

To his credit, Angel never cynically adds (as I, or others, might), that the Orioles will probably be donating very little money to charity this season. He is clearly a better man than I am.

I will, however, remain optimistic for my American League team and hope that they avoid a 100-loss season of shame.

Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell)

2010-04-21T22:48:00.002-04:00

Today's quote: "Your men...are obsolete."--Kurt Russell as Todd 3465 in Soldier (1998).

This has been your dose of Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell).

Underrated Classic of the Week: "So I Married an Axe Murderer" (1993)

2010-04-20T13:42:00.004-04:00

The Setup: Charlie Mackenzie (Mike Myers) is terrified of getting married--he always comes up with lame excuses for dumping seemingly perfect women. When he meets Harriet (Nancy Travis), things are going along smoothly until he gets it in his head, due to an article in the tabloids and series of odd coincidences, that his wife is really a serial killer who murders her husbands on their honeymoons.

Why a classic?: When it comes to early-mid 90s comedies, it's hard to do better than this (even the soundtrack is chock full of 90s alternative classics). Mike Myers, before the days of Austin Powers and the now innumerable Shrek movies, was probably in his purest comedic form. His role as his own Scottish, haggis-loving father is simply hilarious. Also, the scenes featuring Alan Arkin as the kind-hearted police captain often outshine the main storyline.

Why Underrated?: Mike Myers was still an unknown back then (I think it was another four years until Austin Powers was released), and this movie did not help move him into the mainstream. Still, I actually prefer this to the Austin Powers movies, especially the sequels. The romantic elements are not very interesting, but the comedy is great--Myers way, way before The Love Guru days, with Phil Hartman and Charles Groding, and Steven Wright having awesome cameos. Check it out if it's still available on Hulu.

Video Killed the Radio Show

2010-04-15T22:04:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago, I had my class read the script from a 1940s, Orson Wells-produced radio show called "The Hitch-Hiker." While they liked reading the play aloud and enjoyed seeing the plot unravel (a man making a cross-country car trip is seemingly stalked by a mysterious hitch-hiker), they were a little bit confused by the "stage directions" and sound effect cues--not to the point where they became distracted, but I think enough to detract from full enjoyment of the play.

To rectify the situation, I found a recording of "The Hitch-Hiker" in a podcast from iTunes. I had them follow along in their books while they listened. The entire class--including some of my more cynical students--was captivated.

Of course I explained how people didn't have TV or computers or internet back in those days and asked them to be sympathetic to this apparently anachronistic medium of entertainment, but there was something more going on. I even had a handful of students approach me afterward and say that "The Hitch-Hiker" was their favorite story this year. Is it possible that there's something magical to be found in the all-but-extinct radio show? Does it pique the imagination in such a way that television or film can't? I don't know for certain, but it does make me a little sad to think that fully produced radio shows--with voice actors and sound effects--are extremely rare in this brave new world.

Perhaps there's new life for them to be found in the realm of internet radio shows and podcasting...but that's a post for another day.

Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell)

2010-04-14T22:50:00.003-04:00

Today's quote: "You called down the thunder. Well, now you got it!"--Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp in Tombstone (1993).

This has been your dose of Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell).

Awesomely Bad Horror Movies: "Grizzly Park" (2008)

2010-04-13T21:51:00.004-04:00

Time to dust off the "Awesomely Bad Horror Movies." My last recorded entry in this series was from early October--pathetic.

"Grizzly Park" is a bad movie that's hard to dislike. The story is ridiculous--good-looking teenagers get stalked and attacked by both a crazed serial killer AND a petulant grizzly bear while serving some sort of community service requirement in the middle of the Canadian wilderness (?)--the acting is bad, and the special effects are lame. But unlike some horror movies that strive to be clever and meaningful, the filmmakers behind "Grizzly Park" were okay with making a silly B-movie. In such a case, the line between the intentionally bad and the unintentionally bad kind of disappears and you're just left having a pretty good time.

We can only hope for similarly inspired future productions from writer/direction Mr. Tom Skull.

The Ashes Play Ruggiero

2010-04-13T06:43:00.007-04:00

This morning my friend Shane (whom I've talked about before), from the band The Ashes, sent me an email about his latest recordings - this time covering one of my favorite artists at the moment, a fellow from New York called Vic Ruggiero.

Resuscitating the Blog

2010-04-11T19:34:00.002-04:00

Although its appears near-death, I assure you Stories from Suburbia is not, in fact, dead.

While we still have Dom sharing updates from his Grecian travels and David providing us little known facts about our United States, this blog will not die.

I've been slacking on updates recently, but I have new ideas for columns old and new that I will begin implementing in April.

Stay tuned.

And don't remove us from your bookmarks (yet).

-Sean

Mix Contest

2010-03-22T18:32:00.002-04:00

Hey,

As you may or may not know, I just got a new job. It's pretty awesome in most every way with one glaring exception: The commute blows.

Hard.

So on the way home from work today, I got a brainstorm. I'm opening up a competition to make a mix CD that will carry me through the traffic without making me want to throw my car into the Schuylkyll. The mix can be most anything from any genre, the only caveat is that it should last roughly my ride home (an hour to an hour and ten minutes or so). You can gear it towards my tastes (or your understanding of what my tastes are) or submit one that aligns more with your own tastes. I'll approach each with an open mind.

So there it is: give me something to listen to on my ride home, I'll rank each CD based on how much it aids my commute. Best of all, it's free to enter. Just mail it to:

The Blueberry Mix

c/o David King

2402 Carpenter Street Apt. A

Philadelphia, Pa 19146

Include a self-addressed stamped envelope and I'll mail back the cost of your postage, plus a buck or two for the blank CD.

And the winners will receive:

Best mix: $10

Best concept album: $10

Best cover art: $10

Best honest effort that falls well short: Booby prize

Once you stop giggling at the word "Booby," get to work. Good luck!

David King

p.s. Hint: Metal is a plus, '80s music is a plus, '80s metal, probably not a plus.

Letters from Greece III: Sterea Ellada, or, Central Greece

2010-03-21T09:01:00.028-04:00

My travels continued on Sunday morning, October the 25th. Fortunately traffic was rather easy, as mostly everything is shut down on Sundays. The first stop was Messolonghi, a town on the northern coast of the Corinthian gulf. It was the site of a Turkish siege against the Greeks in 1825-1826, during the Greek war of independence. The poet Lord Byron was a moral and material supporter of Greek independence: he had arranged a half million pounds in loans for the city before the siege. Though a westerner himself, he warned of the empty promise of foreign aid during the revolution and of the proud hope of Greek nationalism.

Trust not for freedom to the Franks –
They have a king who buys and sells;
In native swords, and native ranks,
The only hope of courage dwells;
But Turkish force, and Latin fraud,
Would break your shield, however broad.

He went there himself to command artillery, but died of a fever in 1824 and not in the siege itself as later propaganda reported. The siege turned into a stalemate until the inhabitants of Messolonghi began to starve. With no other options, they planned to rush out in a surprise attack on the Turks and then escape to the mountains beyond the city. The plan was reportedly betrayed by a Bulgarian, a group historically despised by the Greeks. But the story sounds too much like the battle of Thermopylae – betrayal from within a group of doomed soldiers to an eastern enemy. Indeed, the siege was afterwards hailed as the modern Thermopylae, and the townspeople accordingly heroized. They mounted the attack and were cut down or captured.

Lord Byron's Memorial at Messolonghi

Today Messolonghi hosts the Garden of Heroes, a Greek equivalent of Arlington National Cemetery. There is buried Byron’s heart and monuments to important Greek poets, soldiers, politicians, and artists. I was struck by the number of foreign memorials commemorating those who fought and died at Messolonghi in 1826, including Polish, Russian, Italian, and Swiss. Commemorating the universalism of freedom is an inscription outside the main gate of the Garden of Heroes.

ΚΑΘΕ ΕΛΕΥΘΕΡΙΟΣ ΑΝΘΡΩΠΟΣ ΕΙΝΑΙ ΔΗΜΟΤΗΣ ΜΕΣΟΛΟΓΓΙΟΥ

EVERY FREE MAN IS A CITIZEN OF MESSOLONGHI

The first day also held another site of modern importance. Near Nafpaktos in 1571 was fought the battle of Lepanto between an allied western fleet and the navy of Selim II, the Ottoman emperor. The Ottomans had been making aggressive movements westwards: they had assaulted Vienna, allied themselves with the Barbary pirates of North Africa, expelled the Knights of St. John from their own pirate bases in the east and chased them to Malta (where they became the Knights of Malta), and captured Cyprus from the Venetians. With Venice’s interests roused, the pope was able to forge an alliance of Spain, Venice, Genoa, the Knights of Malta, and the Papal States. The allied fleet met the Ottomans at Lepanto. Miguel de Cervantes, later the author of Don Quixote, took part in the battle as a 24-year old marine. He was shot twice in the chest and once through his left hand, rendering it useless. “For the glory of my right,” he would later say – meaning the hand with which he wrote. The Ottomans were decisively defeated and their efforts to reach westwards were seriously curtailed. The Battle of Lepanto was the last major naval engagement to use oar power.

The Harbor at Nafpaktos; the battle took place in the gulf on the right side of the photograph some 800 meters

Delphi was our first major site, where we spent three days. There is a pan-Hellenic sanctuary there – that is, one that did not belong to any particular city-state but at which all Greeks could worship. Like Olympia, many city-states built treasuries to house dedications to the temple. Delphi is flanked by two steep cliffs, from which impious violators of the sanctuary were thrown to their deaths. The sanctuary sits on a hillside, the top of which is crowned by the Temple of Apollo. Unfortunately we were not allowed up to the top, due to the danger of rock falls. Initially we thought this was a rouse the guards put on so they would not have to let us up there. But in another area of the sanctuary gigantic boulders had rained down on the ancient remains, warning us of what would happen if we pushed our luck.

View from the Delphi sanctuary

Remains at the Treasury of the Sikyonians

Men of all nations came to consult the priestess of the temple, who spoke oracles for the god. She sat on a tripod over a crevasse and delivered predictions in delirious verse. An attendant would translate. One of the most famous Delphian pronouncements came when the Lydian (western Turkey) king Kroisos approached the oracle asking if he should attack the Persians. “If you make war on the Persians”, said the oracle, “you will destroy a mighty empire.” Kroisos went into battle without suspicion that the oracle meant his own empire.

The Tholos of Athena Pronaia and Lower Sanctuary

Recent scholarship has demonstrated that the temple lies directly over the confluence of two local tectonic plates. The idea is that this caused an emission of gases that intoxicated the oracle and thus her nonsensical babbling. But there is also a school of thought that is inclined to believe that the oracle did experience some sort of trance, whether self-induced or not. How do we interpret religious action and feeling in history? Cynically – that it was just a chemically-induced fabrication? Or could it be seen as a genuine experience?

Detail from the Frieze of the Treasury of the Siphnians at Delphi

October the 28th we rolled into the small town of Distomo. Martial music was playing through the village’s single square as a few workers erected a temporary stage. It was Ochi Day – No Day. On that day in 1940, Benito Mussolini called the Greek prime minister, Ioannis Metaxas, and demanded that the country open its borders to Italian troops. Mussolini hoped to mimic the success of Hitler with a quick occupation. Metaxas responded in one word: Ochi – No. An hour and a half later, Italian troops invaded Greece from Albania. But Metaxas had expressed the defiant hopes of an entire nation in that one word, and Greece rose in resistance to the Italians. The Greeks pushed into Albania and robbed Mussolini of a blitzkrieg victory. Worried that Greece would be the Achilles Heel of his Russian campaign, Hitler invaded Greece on April the 6th, 1941. Athens fell on April the 27th.

Distomo had been particularly hard hit by the occupation. It was not difficult for any German officer to accuse a town of aiding and abetting the Resistance, and this was the standard pretense for savagery. On the tenth of June, 1944, SS officer Fritz Lautenbach and his men entered Distomo, killed 218 men, women, and children, and burned the village to the ground. We were in Distomo to visit the war museum, where hung photographic portraits of the victims, ranging in age from infants to grandmothers.

The deathly silent museum at Distomo contrasted with the peaceful silence of Hosios Loukas, a monastery with extraordinarily beautiful wall paintings. We ended the day at one of the few standing mosques in Greece, at Trikala. The building was beautiful but marred with anti-Turkish graffiti. “ΓΑΜΩ ΤΗΝ ΤΟΥΡΚΙΑ,” says one – “FUCK TURKEY.”

Wall painting at Hosios Loukas

The Mosque at Trikala

We came to the town of Platanos, a modern ghost town. The residents left in 1957 for Neos Platanos – New Platanos – but commemorated the old town with a plaque in 1978.

In the 16th century residents from South Almiros and Ancient Alos immigrated to Platanos because of a plague disease. During the war against the Ottoman Empire, the village was burned down three times, in 1821, 1833, and 1854. In 1878 Palios Platanos was fully destroyed from the Ottoman army. In 1897 a part of the village was once again burned. During the Second World War, the Italian army was the last to fully burn Palios Platanos. In 1960 the village was deserted. Its residents moved to a new location where the new village Platanos was built.

I find it completely fascinating that this town’s memory is entirely built on its successive destruction and that this is what its residents choose as its defining historical features and the essence of its identity. Villagers from Neos Platanos walked to old Platanos to collect wild herbs and we spoke with them. One woman recounted going to the hollowed out church of St. John the Baptist that we were now examining. It is a fitting end that the decaying buildings have not been knocked down but remain to be consumed by nature.

The Church of Panagia Skripou (the Virgin Mary of Skripos) is in the area of Orchomenos. The building was interesting in that it reused many blocks from ancient buildings, and a good number of those had inscriptions on them. But it is most famous for the miracle which took place there during the Axis occupation. A certain officer Hoffmann had trumped up the usual charge of helping the Resistance against the town of Orchomenos. He led a detachment of tanks to the town on September the 10th, 1943 to commit reprisals. But all of a sudden his tanks would not move forwards or backwards. The townspeople reported seeing the image of a woman in the sky holding her hand out in opposition to the advancing Germans. Hoffmann himself entered the church and identified the woman as the icon of Mary that was before him in the sanctuary. He vowed to protect the town thereafter. When the war ended, the people of Orchomenos instituted an annual celebration on September 10 and Hoffmann attended every year until his death.

The Panagia Skirpou Icon<

It had been raining the past few days before the last day of the trip. Many in our group were getting sick. We were headed to Askra, the village of the 7th century BC poet Hesiod on the slopes of Mount Helikon. We were expecting the worst given his description of the place.

My father left Aeolian Cyme and fled,
Not from riches and substance, but from wretched poverty
Which Zeus lays upon men, and he settled near Helikon
In a miserable hamlet, Askra, which is bad in winter,
Sultry in summer, and good at no time.

But the sun was out during our last day as we patrolled Mount Helikon’s slopes in search of inspiration from the Muses. For the most part we only found the prick of the pine needle underbrush as we waded through the valley. Soon we were back on the bus and back in Athens after another sojourn.

Mount Helikon, viewed from the Valley of the Muses

Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell)

2010-03-17T22:01:00.003-04:00

Kurt Russell turns 59 today. Happy birthday, Kurt! Keep kicking ass and adding to your panoply of badass characters.

These Songs Would Introduce Me As I Stepped to the Plate...

2010-03-13T22:28:00.003-05:00

...if I were a major league ball player.

While clearly that will never be the case, with baseball season right around the corner, I thought I'd share some songs with intimidating opening riffs that might strike fear into the heart of the opposing pitcher and bolster my own confidence. (Or distract the pitcher with its absurdity--see below.)

1) Sabotage by the Beastie Boys

The entire song is great, but the first 10-15 seconds are all I'd really need.

2) Hammerhead by the Offspring

I've heard this song played at Citizens Bank Park, but never as a player's intro.

3) Dancing Days by Led Zeppelin

Much to my enjoyment, I've heard this played at Camden Yards. And because "Kashmir" is already taken. Damn you, Chase Utley (but not really because you're the man).

4) Vagabond by Wolfmother

Yeah, I know it was used in "500 Days of Summer," but I still really enjoy the beginning of this song.

5) White and Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic

This is the selection that would, ideally, simply confound and distract the pitcher.

Graphic Novels in the Classroom Part II

2010-03-13T22:05:00.002-05:00

As per Dom's erstwhile request, I dug up one of the best arguments for the use of graphic novels in the classroom. This is a podcast from the website Comic Related. It features an interview with a former high school teacher of mine at New York's Comic Con from last year.

The interview with my former teacher begins at 49: 35. You should probably just listen to his interview, because his ideas are expressed more cogently and eloquently than I could ever manage here.

Listen to the interview here and share your reactions in the comments section.

Lowering the Discourse

2010-03-08T13:27:00.003-05:00

I recently was assigned a project at work that involved doing puzzles for maps of the United States. Each map needed a blurb with fun facts about the city or state in the puzzle.

Me being me, I took some creative license and put together an alternate fun fact for each state. This is without a doubt the least mature thing on this blog (I suggest you read the other posts, they aren't by me for the most part and are much more coherent, but I needed a place to dump my garbage and this website seemed as good as any.

Without further ado, here are the fun facts that didn't make it into the map word find book.

State Fun Facts

STATES

ALABAMA: You may be the most corrupt, racist, and poor state in the country, but you also come first alphabetically, and no one can take that away from you.
ALASKA: Because the Aleutian Islands cross the International Date Line, Alaska is the northernmost, westernmost and easternmost state in the Union. Congratulations, you now know the only interesting thing about Alaska.
ARIZONA: If you’re wondering why your grandchildren never visit you, it’s probably because you selected the hottest, driest, and most boring state to die in.
ARKANSAS: Many Americans thought the Louisiana Purchase was a steal at three cents an acre. Then they found out that they were getting Arkansas and that the French had a pretty airtight no-returns policy.
CALIFORNIA: After electing both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Ronald Reagan governor, residents of California have learned from their mistakes and are eagerly awaiting reform with the 2010 Ryan Reynolds administration.
COLORADO: The Colorado Board of Tourism recently established a motto that reflects its state’s city life and skiing culture: “Colorado: We Have Denver, and It’s All Downhill From There.”
CONNECTICUT: During the Philadelphia Convention, the Connecticut Compromise, also known as the Great Compromise, established that every lecherous college professor would be granted one tweed jacket with suede patches and a pipe in exchange for a bicameral legislature.
DELAWARE: Delaware was the first state in the Union because the delegates at the first national convention lined up in order of height.
FLORIDA: The only state where you can listen to your grandparents tearfully recall their family’s treacherous journey from the Old Country to America then threaten to call INS on “that filthy immigrant maid who stole my rosary.”
GEORGIA: It’s just an old sweet song and a particularly pesky strand of syphilis that keep Georgia on my mind.
HAWAII: Hawaii, we need to talk. You’ve always been a bit of a drinker, but lately you’ve been out of control. I mean, getting bombed on a Sunday morning isn’t good… Ohhh, too soon?
IDAHO: All of Ireland's potato-related stereotypes with no corresponding literary giants.
ILLINOIS: Clever Illinois residents have discovered a loophole in the constitution: Although felons are barred from voting, nothing bars citizens from electing felons to public office.
INDIANA: Every year Indiana crowns “Mr. Basketball,” the best high school player in the state. They also crown “Mr. Literacy,” the high schooler who can read upon graduation.
IOWA: Your leading exports are hogs and corn, a remarkable feat considering you somehow manage to have enough of these two ingredients to consume more corndogs per capita than anywhere else in the world.
KANSAS: Little known fact: The band Kansas is not actually from this state. They drew their name from the only place that sucked as hard as their music.
KENTUCKY: Kentucky is one of the least literate states in the United States. If you can read and comprehend that last sentence, thank the Good Lord you don’t live in Kentucky.
LOUISIANA: Every year, New Orleans is host to a wild party. If you need to sober up the next day, nothing beats a po' boy sandwich and a visit to one of the parts of the city that wasn't cleaned up for tourists following a devastating flood.
MAINE: Hello? You guys still up there? Okay, we’ll check in again in 2060.
MARYLAND: Maryland is world famous for being the crabs capital of the United States. It’s also famous for its seafood.
MASSACHUSETTS: Residents of Massachusetts are often ridiculed for not pronouncing their R’s. Fortunately, there aren't any R's in “Holy shit, get me the fuck out of this bigoted, snowy nightmahhe of a state.” Oh wait, nevahmind.
MICHIGAN: Detroit used to manufacture thousands of cars each day until its residents realized that stealing them would be much easier.
MINNESOTA: Oooh, it’s the friendliest shithole in the country, don’tchaknow?
MISSISSIPPI: Mississippi is home to a number of tourist attractions, including the World’s Largest People.
MISSOURI: Missouri is home to the Gateway Arch, a large, expensive and ultimately useless monument. Essentially, it’s Missouri in a nutshell.
MONTANA: Montana is famous in the United States, but only a select few of its friends know that this flashy superstar of a state is actually the mostly anonymous Canadian province of Cyrus.
NEBRASKA: Nebraska is a great state to see from above while flying to and from places that actually matter.
NEVADA: Much like degenerate gamblers, no matter how well they do on any given day, residents of Nevada will always be losers in the long run.
NEW HAMPSHIRE: Really? Your state motto is “Live Free or Die”? Do yourselves a favor and don’t leave that up to a popular vote.
NEW JERSEY: New Jersey is home to the Pine Barrens, the most densely forested area not found on a New Jersey resident’s back.
NEW MEXICO: Much like Nevada, people will often wake up in New Mexico full of regret and shame over horrible life decisions. Unlike Nevada, it will have nothing to do with hookers or gambling.
NEW YORK: State motto: “Hey, I’m bein’ a douchebag here!”
NORTH CAROLINA: Historians look back on the Wright Brothers as some of the bravest inventors of all time. Wilbur Wright’s recently discovered journal, however, described their flying machine as “the best device I can think of to get out of North Carolina or die trying.”
NORTH DAKOTA: After getting into a fight with the rest of Congress, North Dakota's Senators yelled, "I hate this country! I'm running away!" They seceded to Canada, but came back a few hours later after they got hungry and before America noticed they were gone.
OHIO: You have Cincinnati, Cleveland, Toledo and our condolences.
OKLAHOMA: Oklahoma is nicknamed the Sooner State because that was the famous response of its founder when his Indian guide asked him, “So… want to get out of this godforsaken place this afternoon?”
OREGON: Everyone should make a trip to Oregon at least once in their life. That is, of course, everyone except Poo and Fart who will die of dysentery on the way to Oregon.
PENNSYLVANIA: On Saturdays in the fall, an influx of fans make Penn State University the third-largest city in Pennsylvania. Ironically, on any given day it is the state’s least educated city.
RHODE ISLAND: Rhode Island may be the smallest state in the country, but you can’t see it all in a day without the aid of an automobile.
SOUTH CAROLINA: South Carolina is like the drunk uncle who you feel like you have to invite to family events but hope he can’t make it. Sure, he’s a total embarrassment, but goddamn if he doesn’t give you something to laugh about later once the mortification wears off.
SOUTH DAKOTA: You know, being the lesser of the two Dakotas should probably be a wakeup call.
TENNESSEE: Your coolest resident killed a bear when he was only three years old. That’s pretty badass. Of course he also wore a fur hat. That’s pretty gay.
TEXAS: Oh, there’s a yellow rose in Texas, and frankly not much else.
UTAH: In Latin, Utah’s state motto translates roughly into, “One of us… One of us…”
VERMONT: I always forget, is Vermont the one with all the maple syrup or the gays? Wait, both? Then why is there a New Hampshire?
VIRGINIA: Virginia is for lovers… Gun lovers, sheep lovers, sister lovers…
WASHINGTON: No, no… You’re thinking of Washington, D.C. There’s nothing important here.
WEST VIRGINIA: West Virginia is the subject of many jokes, but in actuality it has the strictest incest laws of any state. It is illegal not to marry your first cousin.
WISCONSIN: There’s more to Wisconsin than just cheese… Wait, really? Brett Favre isn’t on the Packers anymore? Scratch that.
WYOMING: Ummmmmm… I like your corners.

How Original Is Tim Burton?

2010-03-07T17:15:00.003-05:00

I'm glad to see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland adaptation doing well financially; I generally like the director's work, and his latest looks interesting (although the reviews have been lukewarm). But Alice is also the latest in a series of remakes and adaptations from the director that stretches back quite a bit.

Taking a look at his "filmography" from IMDB through the 90s and 2000s:

Alice in Wonderland (remake/adaptation)
Sweeney Todd (adaptation of a musical)
Corpse Bride (original)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (remake/adaptation)
Big Fish (adaptation)
Planet of the Apes (remake/adaptation)
Sleepy Hallow (remake/adaptation)
Mars Attacks (original as far as I know)
Ed Wood (adaptation)
Batman/Batman Returns (adaptations)
Edward Scissorhands (original)

Because Hollywood is so unoriginal these days, perhaps three original ideas out of 11 is above average. But considering how Burton's creativity is often heralded, I guess it's a little disappointing. Interestingly, I find his original creations his best (Corpse Bride and Edward Scissorhands) while his remakes (especially Planet of the Apes) the worst.

The upshot is: while remakes and adaptations are safer and more profitable, Tim Burton's original ideas are much better (so he should make more of them).

On School Closures and Lord of the Rings

2010-02-28T20:02:00.003-05:00

So the Archdiocese of Baltimore is announcing its big "consolidation" plan this Wednesday which may or may not include closing down my school. If the decision has been made to close the school, I imagine one of the hardest parts of finishing out the year will be motivating the students to keep at it, even though they'll be forced to leave the only (for many of them) school they've ever been to. The seventh grade will feel especially jilted, knowing how far they've come only to have the rug pulled out from under them.

That is why I am preparing this clip to show them. Even though the enemies are at the gates and nobody knows what's going on outside the walls, let's charge out into it, for honor's and courage's sake.

Click here to watch because embedding has been disabled.

"Ride out with me."

A Strange, Sad, Funny Tale

2010-02-21T21:07:00.003-05:00

...is the Coens' A Serious Man. The movie begins with a seemingly irrelevant prologue from a late 19th century/early 20th century Jewish village in Poland. A man returns home and tells his wife that he was aided, when his wagon got upended, by a man she assures him has been dead for some time. When this dybbuk (ghost) appears at the door (accepting an invitation for supper), the man's wife ends up stabbing the man/ghost, and he wanders off into the snowy night. We never find out if the visitor was man or spirit, if the man's wife committed murder or warded off a dybbuk.

Now, flash forward to suburban Minnesota in the 1960s, where our story begins.

If that transition seems abrupt to you, it's still one of the least strange aspects of A Serious Man, a movie I still haven't figured out a week after seeing (and have since spent much time thinking about and trying to piece together). There's an idea about making meaning from the inherently meaningless and the blatant disconnect between Larry Gopnik's professions of being a "serious man" and his actions.

A repeated line (by several characters) is, "What's going on?" The question is never answered, nor does the one asking the question really seem to care about finding an answer. In fact, no character in the movie seems to have a concern outside him/herself; their yearning to know about the working of hashem in their lives is entirely selfish.

See this movie and tell me what you think about it in the comments. Also, you will not be able to get this song out of your head:

Literature and Politics: Intersecting Interests

2010-02-16T22:42:00.004-05:00

Yes, I realize it's taken me months to read Gogol's Dead Souls when it should probably have taken only weeks, but please indulge me as I share one of my favorite passages from the novel. Here, Gogol calls out pseudo-patriots who wish to brush aside any criticism of their country, even criticism that addresses important problems:

"Censure will also rain down upon the author from the camp of the so-called patriots, who quietly sit in their corners and busy themselves with completely irrelevant matters, amassing small fortunes as they shape their own destinies at the expense of others. But the moment something happens which in their opinion is offensive to the fatherland, the moment a book appears in which some bitter truth is stated, they scurry forth from all their corners, like spiders on seeing a fly entangled in their web, and suddenly raise the cry: 'Is it really a good thing to bring that out into the light, to proclaim that publicly? Because everything that is described here is ours--is that a good thing? And what will foreigners say? Is it really fun to hear a bad opinion of oneself? Do they think this isn't painful? Do they think we're not patriots?'"

As much as I've enjoyed the narrative about that slick, passive-aggressive, narcissistic Chichikov, the gems in Dead Souls are really to be found in the direct addresses to the reader. There's another great one, about the necessity of Realist literature, that I will be sure to share soon. Well, as soon as I have the time and energy to find it.

When Stacking A-Listers Wasn't A Bad Thing

2010-02-14T22:45:00.004-05:00

It seems right that while Valentine's Day was making about $50 million too much at the box office, Fox Movie Channel aired How To Marry a Millionaire (1953). While the latter did not intentionally cast an inordinate number of movie stars in some sort of lame marketing ploy or to overshadow a terrible script, it still featured its fair share of A-listers (Lauren Bacall, Betty Grable, Marilyn Monroe, William Powell, among others).

Besides the fact that Bacall herself contains more talent in one fingernail than the entire cast of Valentine's Day does in toto, How to Marry a Millionaire is also a nice (if not formulaic), funny story about the follies of gold-digging--even for those with a cynical view of love and marriage. So there was a time where you could cast a bunch of big stars in one movie and not construct and sell the entire thing on that premise alone. Hell, Ocean's 11 did a similar thing and was okay. Let's just hope this "romantic comedy stuffed with 20 small, underdeveloped, intertwining stories each featuring an A-list star" does not become a trend. Such a trend may make the modern American movie-going experience even worse than it already is...and that's saying something.

Reboot Mania

2010-02-12T17:26:00.002-05:00

The trend in Hollywood to reboot (aka remake) certain franchises is spiraling out of control. We've recently learned that Spider-Man will be rebooted in 3-D with a new director and cast and that Superman will also be rebooted with oversight from Christopher Nolan. The Spider-Man franchise began less than ten years ago and, although the last movie was a disappointment (although other contributors to this blog may disagree), the series is far from unsalvageable. I kind of like Toby Maguire as Peter Parker, J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson, with Sam Raimi at the helm. And this new Superman movie, if I'm not mistaken, would be a reboot of a reboot that is only 3 and 1/2 years old.

I can understand why Batman had to be rebooted after Batman and Robin. I can even understand why The Hulk had to be rebooted after Ang Lee's turgid, Nick Nolte-infested disaster, but Spider-Man? Really? With each new remake...I mean, "reboot"...Hollywood seems to be capitulating to a dearth in originality and risk-taking.

I am going to end this post before I am forced to write the word "reboot" one more time.

Not Sure I Get This Skit

2010-02-09T00:16:00.002-05:00

A four minute skit about a fake game show in which people have to provide details--any details--about the show "Burn Notice" in order to win. Huh? It doesn't make much sense and it really isn't very funny.

My theory? Perhaps "Burn Notice" rating are slumping (it's getting to be really formulaic) and, since USA is owned by NBC-Universal, they figure this might cause a modest rise in curiosity about the show. Then again, who knows how popular SNL is these days, so perhaps it's the wrong place to try and prop up ratings of another show.

Anyway, here it is. Your guess is as good as mine:

Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell)

2010-02-03T21:57:00.004-05:00

Today's quote: "You know, it's not fair who lives and dies."--Kurt Russell as Robert Ramsey in Poseidon (2006).

This has been your dose of Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell).

Salinger and Zinn

2010-01-29T22:20:00.002-05:00

It's certainly worth noting the deaths of two important American thinkers/writers from the 20th century. While I know little about Salinger and even less about Zinn, I understand each man's significant contribution to his respective field.

That being said, Catcher in the Rye is not one of my favorites. In fact, most voracious readers I talk to tend to prefer Salinger's short stories over his (in)famous novel that so become so ubiquitous in high school curricula these days. I understand the historical impact of Catcher in the Rye, but did not find it engaging. I really should read Franny and Zooey and his other short stories when I get a chance.

As for Howard Zinn, I haven't read A People's History, but probably should. I've read some of Dr. Zinn's lectures and articles and, although I might not always buy into his ideology, I respect his ideas and his passion.

If anyone has any thoughts on Howard Zinn or J.D. Salinger, please share them in the comments section. (Otherwise, this post really isn't very interesting.)

A Sad Sight

2010-01-26T20:28:00.004-05:00

His sojourn in Philly was memorable. I understand why he had to go, but that first game of the World Series was one of the most incredible games I have ever seen.

Regardless of what happens this season, I will always wonder how the Halladay-Lee-Hamels-Happ-Blanton rotation would have worked out.

Thoughts on the Forthcoming "Dante's Inferno" Video Game

2010-01-25T22:23:00.005-05:00

On the one hand, it appears to have little to nothing to do with actual poem--from the trailer, Dante seems to have made a transformation from unfairly banished poet to vengeful medieval knight. Beatrice makes an appearance in the trailer, but there is no sign of Virgil (an important symbolic character to understanding the poem). On the other hand, perhaps this will inspire young people's interest in "The Divine Comedy"?

As much as I want to believe so, why does this video game feel like something out of a "Simpsons" parody? Or maybe I'm just bewildered by this strange mixture of "high" and "low" cultures. I don't know. I just don't know.

Why Don't the Muppets Do More Literary Adaptations?

2010-01-22T22:15:00.006-05:00

Because let's face it: Muppet Treasure Island is clearly the best adaptation of that classic novel, and A Muppet Christmas Carol probably falls in the upper echelon of the dozens and dozens of Christmas Carol adaptations that have come to pass over the years. To prove my point: who can forget the roll call scene from Muppet Treasure Island?

So please get on it, Jim Henson Company, Disney, or whoever it is who owns the rights to the Muppets these days. I would ideally like to see The Muppets Karamazov, A Farewell to Muppets, and The Sorrows of a Young Muppet all within the next five years. Thanks.

(I apologize for the content of this post--it is clearly coming at the end of a long and exhausting week, when its author is obviously incapable of thinking straight.)

Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell)

2010-01-20T22:56:00.002-05:00

Today's quote: "I'm on Planet X looking for a dweeb who wears green fatigues."--Kurt Russell as Colonel Jonathan "Jack" O'Neill in Stargate (1994).

This has been your dose of Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell).

If Only People Really Talked Like This...

2010-01-19T21:03:00.003-05:00

Today, for some reason, I was reminiscing about the Thin Man marathon that TCM aired on New Years Eve. In case you've never seen the movie series, William Powell stars as Nick Charles, a funny, semi-alcoholic (and brilliant) detective. The highlight of the movies, though, is the dialogue between Nick and his wife Nora (Myrna Loy). The husband and wife team are always barbing one another (and everything else) with puns, quick-witted insults, and other clever forms of wordplay that require the viewer's full attention to appreciate.

I certainly wish that filmmakers these days would write movies like this again, sure, but my deepest desire goes even farther: why can't all people talk like Nick and Nora Charles every day? It would make boring family dinners, trips to the super market, and long-ass education classes much more enjoyable. Alas, this is one heartfelt wish of mine that may never be fulfilled.

Brad Dourif, You Bastard (You're Awesome!)

2010-01-15T19:49:00.005-05:00

You might not recognize his name, but Brad Dourif has played two of the slimiest, foulest, most rotten-hearted characters in modern cinema: Grima Wormtongue in The Lord of the Rings and Deputy Pell in Mississippi Burning (a movie I watched today to commemorate the birthday of Dr. King).

All too often, we focus on celebrating the "heroes" of cinema--the Harrison Fords, the Denzel Washingtons (Training Day aside), the Mel Gibsons (when he's not going on anti-Semitic rants or making ultra-violent religious movies)--instead of the villains. I imagine it's not very easy to portray an evil character, someone far removed from your worldview, values and principles. I believe Dourif's portrayals of seedy, unsavory characters like Wormtongue and Pell require much more skill than, say, any of Mel Gibson's roles in which he runs around killing Red Coats, Vietcong, Mayans (whatever the case may be) and defending justice.

On a side note, a perusal of Dourif's acting credits has revealed not only the existence of a film adaptation of Flannery O'Connor's Wise Blood, but that Dourif himself stars as the semi-insane "protagonist" Hazel Motes. Where can I get a copy of this movie? (Price is not an issue.)

Why Hasn't This Movie Been on My Radar?

2010-01-12T21:23:00.002-05:00

Because it looks somewhat fantastic. Based on the comic books by Mark Millar, "Kick-Ass" is about a high-school kid who, inspired by the masked heroes of his comic collection, decides to don a costume and mask to fight crime as vigilante himself.

I always enjoy a good story about real life superheroes, so this looks right up my alley. I'll check the Rottentomatoes score as the release date draws nearer, but at least for now it seems like a movie to look forward to and to help get me through the dregs of winter.

The Graphic Novel Revolution

2010-01-08T23:08:00.003-05:00

In a recent education class, I introduced the idea of using graphic novels in the classroom. (A topic that deserve a longer post at a time when I'm not so tired.) My presentation sparked a vigorous discussion that presented to me the news that "Pride and Prejudice" has been adapted into graphic novel form by Marvel.

The revolution has begun: not to replace the literary canon, but rather to give it a supplementary shot in the arm.

A New Role Model

2010-01-06T21:06:00.003-05:00

If there's something I've learned about the teaching profession in the past four months, it's that you can't take the sometimes maddening experiences in the classroom home with you. If you do, you risk losing your mind.

With that said, I can now firmly declare Bradley Cooper's character from The Hangover, Phil Wenneck, my new role model. The scene in which he's leaving school Friday and says to a student trying to get his attention something along the lines of, "It's 3 o'clock on a Friday, I don't know you," has taken on new meaning to me.

No word yet on whether I will being collecting "field trip" money to finance a trip to Vegas.

Is this really happening?

2010-01-05T21:12:00.003-05:00

Well, "Avatar" continues to do really well at the box office.

I always assumed the movie would make a nice chunk of change, but it appears to be heading toward the range of James Cameron's other record-setting movie (something about a sinking ship). This surprises me a little bit. Sci-fi can draw in the crowds, but I haven't heard tremendous things about "Avatar." From what I've heard, it's "Dances with Wolves" in space with really cool, really amazing 3-D CGI. How does that produce a movie with such wide appeal?

Perhaps I should actually see the movie before I make any judgments.

The Big Book Deal

2010-01-04T19:23:00.004-05:00

For some reason, I was recently thinking about the novel "Cold Mountain" by Charles Frazier. I first read the book back in high school and still flip back to certain chapters from time to time to marvel at its beautifully styled prose. It's a good novel with an interesting plot (a Confederate soldier abandons the war and journeys home to North Carolina) with unique characters (one vignette about a plantation heir searching for a slave he had fallen in love with--and was quickly shipped away by his father because of it--is one of the highlights) and the aforementioned beautiful prose, but readers went crazy about it in the late nineties. It ended up selling millions of copies and being adapted into a film version starring Jude Law and Nicole Kidman.

The upshot is, Charles Frazier landed a huge book deal for his next novel (I think he got $8 million based merely on a page-long synopsis). Unfortunately, nobody read the long-awaited follow-up to "Cold Mountain" (called "Thirteen Moons") and Random House, according to Wikipedia, lost $5.5 million on the deal. Oops.

I can understand dealing out huge contracts to the directors/writers/producers of sure-to-be blockbuster movies (usually crappy ones like Spider-Man 3 and Transformers 2 that are immune to bad reviews) and even "blockbuster" book series like Harry Potter, Dan Brown books and (I suppose?) Twilight, but I wonder if the "Thirteen Moons" fiasco has spelled doom for the big book deal. A shame, because "Cold Mountain" is a good book with some real literary merit and I'm sure "Thirteen Moons" features some of the same characteristics. I guess it just goes to show that weighty literature rarely mixes well with the tastes of the general public.

This Mini-Series Looks to Be Good

2009-12-30T09:44:00.002-05:00

The opening bit of dialogue from this trailer sends chills down my spine.

My Favorite Movies of 2009

2009-12-29T21:25:00.009-05:00

Yes, I realize this blog effectively died several months ago (around the time I started teaching--coincidence? Most definitely not), but here's an attempt to breathe at least a little life into it.

For various reasons, I didn't get to the movies as much as I would have liked this year (sadly, I missed out on Zombieland and A Serious Man). Regardless, I still managed to see some great movies that are worth some reflection here at year's end.

Adventureland

Adventureland was not a popular movie in 2009 (I still blame a terrible marketing campaign that presented its premise as Superbad 2), but I still cherish it. I could easily sympathize with Jesse Eisenberg's character (at his best and worst) and many of the other realistic characters that populate the 1980s Pittsburgh theme park. And any movie that drops references to Plato, Shakespeare, Gogol and Melville is all right with me.

Star Trek

There were countless ways J.J. Abrams could have screwed up the Star Trek reboot. Luckily, he put together a fine movie that managed to please Trekkies and non-Trekkies alike. The plot gets a little convoluted, what with the time travel and the Old Spock/New Spock existing simultaneously, but it still works. The real pleasure came from seeing a trio of relatively unknown actors bring unbridled exuberance to their portrayals of Spock, Kirk, and Bones.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Wes Anderson left his pretentious dialogue and emotionally stunted characters home for his interpretation of Roald Dahl's novel and ended up creating the most purely enjoyable movie of the year. Clever, funny, and rendered in beautiful (perhaps beautiful in its rarity nowadays) stop-animation, Fantastic Mr. Fox edges out Up as my favorite family movie of the year. I though The Darjeeling Limited had some precious moments and The Life Aquatic got better with multiple viewings, but Anderson's latest is his best since Rushmore.

The Blind Side

I question how much of The Blind Side is sugar-coated (some of it just seems too nice and neat), but it's still an inspirational, tear-jerker of a movie. I was pleasantly surprised at how well it avoided sports movie cliches, as well.

For the record, I have not yet seen Avatar, Inglorious Basterds, Up in the Air and many other critically acclaimed movies that might crack the list (which makes my opinions as an amateur movie critic mostly meaningless), but I will hopefully get around to seeing them soon.

Add your own favorites of 2009 in the comments section!

Letters from Greece II: The Peloponnese

2009-12-15T07:50:00.013-05:00

The Peloponnese is the southern peninsula of the Greek mainland. It is connected to Athens by a narrow strip of land where lies the city of Corinth, and is dominated by a mountainous interior with fertile valleys, and a large, low plain in its northwest corner in the neighborhood of Olympia the home of the Olympics.

The name itself means “the Island of Pelops.” Pelops was the son of Tantalos, who, wishing to show himself more cunning than the gods, cut his son to pieces intending to feed Pelops to his divine dinner guests. Most of the gods sensed what was happening, except for Demeter who ate his shoulder. He was put back together with an ivory shoulder in place of his lost one. Pelops then wished to marry Hippodameia, the daughter of the King Oinomaos. Oinomaos challenged every suitor to a chariot race and should the would-be son-in-law lose he would be killed. Thirteen had gone before Pelops and thirteen heads were nailed to the walls of Oinomaos’ city. Bribing Oinomaos’ chariot handler Myrtilos to loosen a wheel or two with the promise of “whatever you want,” Pelops won the race and Oinomaos was killed by his crashing chariot. The chariot handler wanted Hippodameia. Not to be deprived his prize, Pelops threw Myrtilos off a cliff into the sea. On the way down, he cursed Pelops and his descendants, resulting in a famous mythical cycle of violence. Hippodameia would hang herself, her grandson Menelaos’ wife Helen would be abducted (starting the Trojan War), Menelaos’ brother Agamemnon would kill his daughter in exchange for fair winds to sail to attack Troy, Agamemnon’s wife Klytaimnestra would kill him, and finally his son Orestes would kill his own mother before a trial before the gods (law and order) ended the cycle of vendetta murders.

One of my first stops, though, was far away from ancient myths. Chlemoutsi is a castle built by Geoffrey Villehardouin, the first Frankish lord the Morea, which is the medieval name for the Peloponnese. While his Fourth Crusade friends got distracted by the riches of Constantinople (it’s Istanbul… not Constantinople) in 1204, he took advantage of the havoc wreaked upon the Byzantine Empire by the sack of its capital and made a stop on the southern tip of the Morea, proceeding to conquer the peninsula. Chlemoutsi was built 1220-1223 to help secure his gains. Over the next 500 years it was passed on to each successive ruler of the Morea – to the Byzantines, Venetians, and then to the Ottomans in 1715. The Peloponnese is dotted with fortresses whose histories follow similar trajectories as they changed hands to help each successive master bolster his hold over the Morea.†

On the northwest coast of the Peloponnese is Olympia, where was held the Olympic games. Supposedly started in 776 BC with a foot race, the games eventually had chariot racing and the pankration – basically UFC where the only rule is no eye gouging. The site is extremely complex with many sanctuaries and temples, as well as athletic buildings. It is helpful to keep in mind that the place was mostly a religious sanctuary, and it only so happened that every four years there were five days of athletic events.

It is also useful to think of the social function of the games. Last letter I mentioned that Herodotus argued that the Macedonians were Greeks, his evidence being that Macedonians were allowed to compete at the Olympics. Only Greeks could participate in the games, so it became an ethnic proving ground.

The Olympics were also begun in a period ruled by an aristocratic ethos – guest-friendship, land-ownership, horse riding, and most importantly military prowess. These elites were able to compress their military struggles into less lethal athletic contests, thus keeping down the casualties while at the same time creating a forum for competition by giving out prizes, conspicuously displaying wealth, and dining.

We continued down the western coast to Pylos. This is the home of the Homeric king Nestor. He is known in the Iliad and Odyssey as a cantankerous old man – he frequently reminds everyone that men were real men in his day, and that he ran and fought with the best, and that kids these days just don’t know how easy they got it – yet eloquent and diplomatic at the same time. In the early 20th century was found a palace in Pylos and on stylistic and pottery evidence it was dated to around the time of the Trojan War – about 1200 BC. The archaeology and the text seem to match up, earning it the name Nestor’s Palace. There is a great central room with a space cut into the rock for a throne, as well as a massive hearth in the center and traces of painting over the plaster covering the hearth and walls. It’s hard to imagine but the sandy rubble remaining was once very colorfully, perhaps garishly, decorated.

Pylos is located on a small bay facing west; across the mouth of the bay lays a long, thin island called Sphakteria. This was the location of a battle from the fierce inter-Greek conflict between Athens and Sparta called the Peloponnesian War (431-404 BC). In 430, a massive plague broke out in Athens, killing their charismatic leader Perikles as well as another 30,000. The Spartans continued to invade Athenian territory every summer, burning crops and demoralizing the Athenians. As war weariness took its toll, the Athenians searched for a way to rejuvenate the effort. Another charismatic leader, Demosthenes, managed to get a fleet to attack the western side of the Peloponnese at Pylos. The effect was the same as the Americans at Inchon Harbor, 1950. Pushed back to the far corner of Korea, the Marine Corps landed on the beaches of Inchon harbor behind Communist lines in order to take pressure off the troops trapped in Pusan.

The plan worked. The Spartans recalled their expeditionary force in Athenian land – the shortest such invasion, at 16 days – and landed their own force on Sphakteria to counter the Athenian fort. But the Spartans were unable to coordinate a fleet to supply and protect their men. Notoriously brutal to their slaves, the Spartans resorted to rewarding them with freedom should they be able to get food through the Athenian blockade and onto the island.

The Athenians attacked and managed to capture many of the 400 Spartans on the island. This shook the Greek world: Spartans were supposed to come home with their shield or on it. The myth of Spartan invincibility defeated, the Athenians ransomed the captives and put into action a much more aggressive policy. The Spartan envoys involved in the negotiations warned the Athenians not to let their victory go to their heads and to observe the laws of war and humanity lest they one day find themselves defeated and their success counted as mere chance. The very next year would see the spectacular triumph of the Spartan Brasidas at Amphipolis and another Athenian loss at Delion. Usually only the losers can predict history, and seldom are their words ever heeded.

Here is where problems with our source, the Athenian admiral Thucydides, come into play. So reliant are we on him for information about this period that we must sift through what are the facts and what is the interpretive schema which he lays on top of these facts. Thucydides says that the Athenians fortified Pylos out of boredom once they had arrived and not on command. We are told that when Athenians finally invaded the island, it was so heavily forested that the Spartan positions could not be seen. Just then, a cooking fire from a Spartan camp ignited the trees and all was revealed to the Demosthenes. The words that Thucydides puts into the mouths of the Spartan envoys – that Sphakteria would be seen as a chance victory for the Athenians – become a self-fulfilling prophecy in the pages of Thucydides’ own history. In these types of casual editorial comments, Thucydides portrays the battle in the way he wants you to see it: fate and chance, not forethought and careful planning, have directed the narrative. Yet, the plan to open up a western front to distract the Spartan eastern front is a perfectly logical one, if risky, and has been repeated throughout military history. It is helpful to realize through whose eyes we are seeing history and what escapes the historian’s gaze. As for Thucydides, so masterful is he that in his case the writing of history is the making of history.

Then on to the modern town of Mystras, a small village about 4 miles from Sparta. Nearby medieval Mystras was the capital of the Byzantine Morea from the late 1200s AD to 1460 when it was captured by the Ottomans. In 1830 the Bavarian king Otto, thrust upon the Greeks by Britain, France, and Russia after independence, decided to re-found Sparta and the inhabitants of Mystras were moved there. This effectively ended the life of Mystras, which was thereafter known as a “dead Byzantine town.” There is, however, one holdout. Walking up the three-tiered hillside of Mystras one sees a sign that reads

ARCHAEOLOGICAL SERVICE, GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!

Winding my way through the town’s three terraces there was a palace, several churches dating to the 12th-15th centuries, and finally upon the acropolis a castle originally built by our friend Geoffrey Villehardouin. It was gently raining in the valley by the Eurotas (“Wide-Flowing”) River against the imposing mass of Mount Taygetos, which has protected the inhabitants here for time immemorial.

Down into the valley to Sparta. In the 400s and 300s BC, Sparta was the primary city of the Peloponnese. The city was one of the two major Greek allies that fought off the Persian invasions of the 490s and 480s. For this they earned a great deal of prestige. But as the Allies in the 1940s, once the common threat was extinguished, the Greeks fell into two camps centered on Athens and Sparta. Athens has always been portrayed as a democratic power, its military power naval in nature, and particularly skilled in public speaking. Sparta had a senate of aristocratic elders at home and kings commanded on the field of battle. It prided itself on its land army, and oratory was not a prized ability amongst them (Sparta is in the area called Lakonia – and thus the adjective laconic). Sparta made the Peloponnese its own protectorate through alliances, intimidation, and outright conquest.

The rain was picking up along with the wind. Soaked and muddied, I toured the ruins of Sparta, which were quite sparse for such an important city. Thucydides’ words came to mind:

If Sparta were to become deserted and only its empty structures viewed by future generations, people would never believe that it had been so great a power.

After antiquity, Mystras became the regional center and continued to be important until the 1830s. The first King of the Greeks, Otto – a Bavarian imposed upon the new nation by Britain, France, and Russia – created the modern town of Sparta in 1830 to claim for himself some of the refracted glory of ancient Sparta. Thereafter, Mystras was abandoned, except of course for our one misanthropic friend.

Then south I went along the coast and the weather cooperated to give such breathtaking points as Monemvasia, a gigantic rocky outcrop upon which sat a medieval castle to guard the sea lanes. The trip was ending where it started, at a Frankish castle that had been passed down to Venetian, Papal, and Turkish heirs – the same who fought over the Morea for 500 years from 1200 to 1700.

Almost before I knew it I was back in Athens and the quiet countryside found in the Peloponnese was burst by the noise and traffic of the city’s four million residents. Little time was given to prepare for my next excursion into central Greece, so I quickly scurried back to the library.

† See Kevin Andrews’ Castles of the Morea for a very readable study of these structures.

The Scariest Man in Football

2009-12-02T21:47:00.003-05:00

I saw this picture on Yahoo sports this evening and immediately suspected it of being doctored in some way. Well, it hasn't been. Raiders owner Al Davis:

No wonder Mr. Davis has had such a hard time making the Raiders a halfway-decent team: he's been dead for 12 years.

Letters from Greece I: Northern Greece

2009-11-24T10:09:00.019-05:00

Dear Friends,

I have been traversing Greece for the greater part of the past two and one-half months visiting archaeological sites, museums, and cities big and small in pursuit the art, objects, and history of this country from the Neolithic to Modern periods with special stops at the Archaic and Classical (800-300 BC), Roman (150 BC-AD 400), Byzantine (up to AD 1453), and Revolutionary (AD 1820-30) periods. I thought particularly important to take our conversation from the tables of diaspora Greek diners to the hills of Hellas herself – and besides, if you don’t like the text, you can just look at the pictures.

I first departed Athens to pursue an arc across the north of Greece from west to east. Paradoxically, our course began heading south towards Corinth. This was to swing upwards along the northern edge of the Peloponnese to a bridge which spans the Corinthian gulf. The gulf gets wider by about 30 millimeters every year; we shall see how long nature continues to brook this yolk that man has designed for her.

Through the regions of Akarnania and Aitolia we made observations and heard lectures on site, getting to examine architecture, blocks, and inscriptions in person. We came to the cape of Actium, where in 31 BC Octavian defeated Mark Antony in a naval battle for power over the Mediterranean world. Octavian became Augustus and commemorated his victory he established the town of Nikopolis: “Victory City.”

Further north is Epirus, which is knotted with mountains and the clank of shepherd’s bells accompanied our hikes. There is a town there called Arta by the river Arachthos, and over the river is a bridge. It was probably built in the 13th century and is the only crossing point over this river, making it very important regionally. A folk ballad accompanies the bridge, about the frustrations its architect faced when his stones were swept away after every day of work; the river demanded human sacrifice to allow its waters to be crossed.

Forty-five master builders and sixty apprentices
Were laying the foundations for a bridge over the river of Arta
They would toil at it all day, and at night it would collapse again.
The master builders lament and the apprentices weep:
"Alas for our exertions, woe to our labours,
For us to toil all day while at night it collapses!"

A bird appeared and sat on the opposite side of the river.
It did not sing like a bird, nor like a swallow,
But it sang and spoke in a human voice:
"Unless you sacrifice a human, the bridge will never stand.
And don't you sacrifice an orphan, or a stranger, or a passer-by,
But only the chief mason's beautiful wife,
Who comes late in the afternoon and brings his supper."

The chief mason hears it and falls down like dead.
He quickly sends to his wife, with the bird as his messenger:
"Let her dress slowly, change slowly, and bring the supper late,
Let her come late to cross the bridge of Arta!"
But the bird ignored it and gave her a different message:
"Hurry, dress quickly, change quickly, and bring the supper early,
Go quickly to cross the bridge of Arta!"

So she went and appeared at the end of the white lane.
The chief mason saw her and his heart broke.
From far she greeted them, and when she came near she spoke:
"Greetings, builders, and greetings to you, apprentices.
But what's wrong with the chief mason that his looks are so dark?"
"He lost his wedding ring, it fell into the first chamber.
Who'll go down there now and up again to find the ring for him?"
"Master, don't worry, I'll go myself to get it,
I'll go down there and come up again and find the ring for you."

She had hardly descended, hardly went down into it,
When she called: "Pull me up, dear, pull the chain,
I've looked everywhere but can't find anything!"
One comes with the spade and one with the mortar,
And the chief mason himself goes and throws a big stone…

The layers of history overlaid on the landscape are made manifest in the surrounding structures. On one bank is a Turkish toll house now 200 years old. The bridge remained a vital crossing point into the twentieth century: next to the toll house is a German pill box – a reminder of the Nazi occupation.

Eastwards is the region of Macedonia. It is famous as the homeland of Alexander the Great. At the site of Vergina was found a magnificent burial – a man cremated and interred in a gold box, crowned with a gold wreath, inside a marble sarcophagus in a mausoleum that imitates the monumental temples of the day. Around him were the trappings of a warrior aristocrat: armor, shields, spears, and a set of greaves.

The excavator immediately proposed that this was the grave of Alexander’s father, Philip II, whose consolidation of power in Macedonia paved the way for his son to extend Macedonian power all the way to India and Afghanistan. Now the matter has become enmeshed in nationalistic fervor in Greece: the modern Greeks are often locked in debates with their northern neighbors FYROM (the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia) and the location of Philip’s grave within the boundaries of modern Greece extends Greekness to the ancient Macedonians and thus FYROM cannot use the name Macedonia because it belongs to Greece. The Greeks see the problem as, “Were the ancient Macedonians Greek?” They answer yes, whereon it must follow that the modern area of Macedonia belongs to modern Greece. It is a sordid game of cultural property and twisted logic applied to 2,400 years of history.

The more appropriate question is, “What was the dialogue and debate about Macedonian identity like in antiquity and what forces shaped it?” One hundred years before Alexander, the historian Herodotus says, “I know for a fact that the Macedonians are Greek,” as if he must vehemently protest arguments to the contrary. In the 300s the Athenians opposed Macedonian aggression as the intrusion into Greece of outsiders. Understanding the forces that shaped the debate in the past gives us more insight into the past than using arguments from antiquity to win modern political disputes.

Back on the road, we went to Thessaloniki, the second most important city of modern Greece. The city has successive layers of habitation, from Macedonian to Roman to Byzantine, Venetian, and Ottoman. It has been part of modern Greece for less than 100 years: it was transferred from Ottoman to Greek control in 1912. In Aristotle Square there was a rally for the Communist Party ahead of the elections in which I inadvertently found myself while trying to get dinner. My companions and I drank and ate and walked the sea wall, appreciating being in a big city for a change.

Opposite the mainland in the northern Aegean Sea is the island of Thasos. We crossed in a ferry. It was colonized by Greeks from the island Paros. Amongst the colonizers, in the 7th century BC, was a certain Archilochos whose poems survive to us. He wrote of the island as being

An ass’s backbone crowned with wild wood.

Twenty-six centuries later, the description is not far off. A massive mountain rises in the middle, and the low coastline hosts several villages. We drove through the interior to the southern side, where there was an important marble quarry extending out into the sea. Archilochos writes humorously of bloody encounters with native locals.

Some one of the Saians is rejoicing in my shield
- Beside the shrub I unwillingly left the blameless thing -
Yet I saved my own hide, what care have I for that shield?
Let it go. I will buy another one that’s just as good.

The last days of the excursion were spent touring battle sites. First, the strategic city of Amphipolis. The import of the region and its metal and timber resources was dramatically increased by when the cold war between the Athens and Sparta erupted into open violence. The third party cities that were allied to either side became the focus points for the conflict – as would be Korea, Viet Nam, and Afghanistan in our own day.

422 BC: In order to capture the city from Athens, the Spartan general Brasidas undertook a 26-day forced march across Greece – the fastest movement of an army yet known in Greece, especially for the Spartans who were known for being deliberate, delaying, and slow to action. With eloquence more characteristic of an Athenian than the laconic Spartans, Brasidas convinced a faction of Amphipolitans to open the city to him. The Athenian general Kleon – “the most violent man in Athens” – arrived to take the field. Occupying a hill north of the city walls, he attempted to descend and flank the city to the east of the walls. Brasidas rushed out to meet the flanking motion and the Spartans routed the Athenians. Fleeing the onslaught, Kleon was cut down with his back to the enemy. The Athenian admiral Thucydides was supposed to bring reinforcements from nearby Thasos, but a storm prevented him from getting there in time. In Athens, he faced trial and exile, upon which he turned to writing the account of the war now left to us.

Rushing out into the front of the line, Brasidas was killed in action. The Amphipolitans thereafter commemorated Brasidas as their founding hero. There was found a silver burial box topped with a gold crown and containing the cremated remains of a man in a tomb within the city walls – an unusual practice indicating the importance of the burial. Associated pottery dates the box to the latter half of the 5th century BC. This I think, or perhaps hope, holds the remains of the Spartan hero of the Peloponnesian War.

Finally, Thermopylae, which has now become very familiar to us through the graphic novel and movie 300. Three hundred Spartans under Leonidas crossed towards northeast Greece. Along the way they picked up about 4,000 allies before stopping at Thermopylae – “the Hot Gates.” Mountains pressed up against the sea, leaving a narrow pass. Leonidas held against the endless number of Persians flooding the pass. Failing at hand-to-hand combat, the Persian archers blackened the sky with their arrows. “Then we will fight in the shade,” said the Spartans.

Leonidas was eventually betrayed by a local Greek who guided the Persians to a pass that would allow them to flank the Greeks. Leonidas realized that his position was compromised: he released most of the non-Spartans from their duty, though 700 Thespians remained voluntarily (the movie should be called 1,000, not 300). Without hope of survival the Greeks sallied forward of their defensive position and into the Persian camp, killing two of Xerxes’ brothers. Leonidas fell; the Greeks were slaughtered to a man. The poet Simonides’ epigram was placed upon the battlefield to commemorate the fallen.

O Stranger! Tell the Spartans that here
We lie, to their orders obedient.

The Battle of Thermopylae has been cast by historians, writers, and film directors as the violent meeting point of East and West, of effeminate Eastern tyranny and hardy Western freedom – and in this narrative it is freedom which triumphed. But it is worth thinking about whether this East-West dichotomy is not so much a geographical divide as a mental partition which we have imposed upon the landscape. After all, Europe and Asia are one contiguous land mass. Disdain for the East has dogged “Western Civilization” up until the present day: is Turkey European enough for the EU? Can Middle Easterners sustain that most exalted form of government, the Western republic? The root of this division lay in Thermopylae and in the ways that we continually appropriate and reconstruct the past as an expression of more contemporary issues.

We descended from Thermopylae to Athens, and I was happy to have a sedentary home, at least for the next couple of days. The next day, October 4th, was the national elections. Greece has a rather Biblical system whereby the voter must vote in the town in which he was born. PASOK – the Pan-Hellenic Socialist Party – won against the “conservative” Nea Demokratia (New Democracy), as was predicted. More than anything, what seems to change most is not policy but who has government jobs. The state is by far the greatest employer here and government jobs are redistributed after every shuffling of parliament members. A cushy bureaucrat’s office hangs on whether you pledge your allegiance to PASOK or Nea Demokratia.

More to come as I get settled back in Athens after much travel and study.

Marc Chagall's Etchings for "Dead Souls"

2009-11-12T22:11:00.005-05:00

Searching for information on Gogol's "Dead Souls" (1842) led me to information on Marc Chagall, a Russian-born 20th century artist. A brief skimming of his Wikipedia page leads me to believe he's a big name in the art world but, knowing little about art and art-related things, I had never heard of him. Here are a couple of his etchings from "Dead Souls." Here are more of them, if you're interested.

"La soirée chez le gouveneu"

"On the way to Sobakevich's"

Depressing the Crap Out of You

2009-11-11T10:31:00.003-05:00

Stumbled across one of my favorite poems (full disclosure: I may have two favorite poems, or two poems that I know for that matter), Edward Field's "Icarus." If I could ever come up with something half as brilliant as this twist on a timeless story, well, I wouldn't be a "professional" crossword puzzle "editor." Which is kind of what this poem is about. . .

Icarus

Edward Field

Only the feathers floating around the hat
Showed that anything more spectacular had occurred
Than the usual drowning. The police preferred to ignore
The confusing aspects of the case,
And the witnesses ran off to a gang war.
So the report filed and forgotten in the archives read simply
“Drowned,” but it was wrong: Icarus
Had swum away, coming at last to the city
Where he rented a house and tended the garden.

“That nice Mr. Hicks” the neighbors called,
Never dreaming that the gray, respectable suit
Concealed arms that had controlled huge wings
Nor that those sad, defeated eyes had once
Compelled the sun. And had he told them
They would have answered with a shocked,
uncomprehending stare.
No, he could not disturb their neat front yards;
Yet all his books insisted that this was a horrible mistake:
What was he doing aging in a suburb?
Can the genius of the hero fall
To the middling stature of the merely talented?

And nightly Icarus probes his wound
And daily in his workshop, curtains carefully drawn,
Constructs small wings and tries to fly
To the lighting fixture on the ceiling:
Fails every time and hates himself for trying.
He had thought himself a hero, had acted heroically,
And dreamt of his fall, the tragic fall of the hero;
But now rides commuter trains,

Serves on various committees,
And wishes he had drowned.

Halloween Wisdom (from Bobby Hill)

2009-10-30T22:50:00.003-04:00

"I will never use toilet paper in anger again."--Bobby Hill in "Hilloween" (Just caught the classic episode on Cartoon Network while getting some homework done and chuckled at this line).

This has been your dose of Halloween Wisdom (from Bobby Hill).

An Open Letter to ABC Family

2009-10-27T21:34:00.004-04:00

Dear ABC Family,

Please put an end to your gross misuse of the Greek character sigma in the stylized title of your (what I assume to be) unwatchable teen-drama show "Greek." As any person with even a modest knowledge of the Greek alphabet can tell you, sigma represent an "s" sound that, if properly transliterated, would cause your obnoxious-looking television show to be called "Grssk."

While I doubt this change would improve the quality of your lineup, it will at least make its advertisement slightly less grating.

Thank you,

Sean

PS-This letter is also applicable to the authors of "Greek Week" fliers at any university.

Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell)

2009-10-21T20:37:00.002-04:00

Today's quote: "I may be a goddamm alcoholic, but that doesn't mean I can't tell the truth."--Kurt Russell as Det. Sgt. Eldon Perry, Jr. in Dark Blue (2002)

This has been your dose of Wednesday Wisdom (from Kurt Russell).

Umm...is this a real movie?

2009-10-20T21:25:00.003-04:00

I saw a commercial for a new movie opening this weekend called "The Vampire's Assistant." The brief commercial left me with not only a feeling of general unease, but two questions:

1.) Is this a real movie? Besides John C. Reilly, it appears to feature no one except for some poorly animated goblin-like creatures that look like Dobby from Harry Potter.

2.) Why is John C. Reilly in this movie?

Sadly, embedding for the trailer has been disabled (why?), so check it out on Youtube yourself so you can ponder that same questions I've been pondering.

The Perfect Cookie

2009-10-17T15:25:00.004-04:00

My short sojourn in Baltimore has already brought me face to face (on more than one occasion) with a local baked good known as the Berger Cookie. While my description could never do this miracle of human ingenuity justice, I will go ahead and try to describe it anyway. Basically, you have a small vanilla cookie of sorts covered in a thick shell of a soft chocolate fudge/icing hybrid.

While you might be tempted to eat 3-4 Berger Cookies at a time, resist the urge. I can tell you from experience that eating more than one Berger Cookie within a 30 minute time period will leave you feeling uncomfortably full (yes, they're that rich).

I'm not sure if this perfect cookie is available anywhere outside the Baltimore area (I had never heard of them before moving here), so check out this website for orders.

Box of Berger Cookies....Mmmmm.....

And...Teaching Is Still Time-Consuming

2009-10-13T20:41:00.003-04:00

With about a month and a half of teaching under my belt, I can still report that the profession has kept me busy. In fact, this is probably the busiest I've ever been in my life. On one hand, not necessarily a bad thing (especially considering persisting dismal economic conditions), but on the other hand, it has kept me from fully indulging in many of my most cherished hobbies (going to the movies, reading books (comic or otherwise), playing video games, and publishing on this blog).

I am starting to settle down (finally) into a weekly routine, a move that will increase my preparation efficiency and (if all goes according to plan) give me more time to do fun things.

The upshot: the blog isn't dead. Hang in there...there should be more signs of life soon.

In the meantime, please enjoy some highlights from last night's NLDS game between the Phillies and the Rockies:

2009-10-12T22:40:00.001-04:00

Here are some thoughts to toss around. I’ve gotten a few text messages from Bostonian friends, urging on the Phillies to crush the Yankees. (Forget, of course, that neither pennant has been won yet.)

And, inshallah it be the case, I think the Phillies stand the best chance to do it. The new Yankee Stadium is a launching pad. The Dodgers can play a quick small game, but the Phillies have the most fire power. In Yankee Stadium, everyone from Rollins to Werth is a homerun threat—as if it’s not enough of a gauntlet already.

Anyway, it’s great to still have baseball to watch, but it’s really affecting my productivity.

Awesomely Bad Horror Movies: "Prom Night" (2008)

2009-10-07T21:35:00.002-04:00

A friend and I were lucky enough to catch the second half of this movie on a cable station back in the spring. Sure, the movie is terrible, but we ended up entertaining ourselves by correctly predicting everything that was about to happen. Most impressively, we called everything that was going to happen in the final scene, including "you think the killer's in a different room so you can relax but not really because he's really in the room with you!," mistaking a killer for a non-killer, and the words of comfort chosen by the police detective who shows up right after the nick of time ("It's okay...it's over now.")

Sadly, getting stalked and stabbed by a psychotic killer would have actually been a marked improvement over my prom night.